Friday, May 05, 2006

Think...

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new holes.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I
have advised?
A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters
the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?!!!!!!!!!!!!
A: The boy friend's hand.

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed
his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked "Why"?
A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front".

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A lesson for every salaried employee

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.

He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb,please". The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there.

So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog. So off he goes.

The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing, the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other
passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside waiting for the bus stop to come.

As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

It opens the big iron gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door.

The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy. "What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me!", to which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."

Moral of the story .....

You may continue to exceed onlookers' expectations but shall always fall short of the bosses' expectations.

Not My Brother !

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma.

Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant.
Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them. "

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother-he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise", he doctor says. The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "DeNephew."

Pahala yang berterusan

Sedekah Jariah - Kebajikan yang tak berakhir!

1 - Berikan al-Quran pada seseorang, dan setiap dibaca, Anda mendapatkan hasanah.
2 - Sumbangkan kerusi roda ke hospital dan setiap orang sakit menggunakannya, Anda dapat hasanah.
3 - Berkongsi bahan bacaan yang membangun dengan seseorang.
4 - Bantu mendidik seorang anak.
5 - Ajarkan seseorang sebuah do'a. Pada setiap bacaan do'a itu, anda dapat hasanah.
6 - Berkongsi CD Quran atau Do'a.
7 - Terlibat dalam pembangunan sebuah masjid.
8 - Tempatkan pendingin air di tempat umum.
9 - Tanam sebuah pohon. Setiap seseorang atau binatang berlindung dibawahnya, Anda dapat hasanah.
10 - Hantarkan ini kepada orang lain. Jika seseorang menjalankan salah satu dari hal diatas, Anda dapat hasanah sampai hari Qiamat.

Insyallah......

MyKAD

Dear Ladies & Gentlemen,

To those of you who would like to check the details on your MyKAD chip, u can do so via your Astro decoder. Just follow the steps below :

1. Switch on your TV & Astro decoder
2. Go to channel 800 (it will take 10 seconds to load)
3. Once the Astro Interactive menu comes on, scroll down and select the 'MyKad' option.
4. Insert your MyKad in the second slot of your Astro decoder.


Tadaa!!!... Your MyKad details will appear on the TV screen.

Just conveniently pull out your card and insert the next one if you wish to check more MyKads. Pay careful attention to your personal details (especially religion) and if you detect an error, quickly head to the nearest registration department and get it rectified.

Please make this known to as many people as possible.

I have checked my family ICs by sloting into the decoder and one of the IC has NO NAME PRINTED inside the chip but physically the name, add, ic no. is printed correctly. This is an important ID pls check it out. It takes less than a min.

-msg from Sukhdeep Singh-