headline bunyi mcm aku dah abis belajar je...ahahah...tak abis lagi la...ada 3 sem lagi....bila la aku nak abis...i dont want to brag about that anymore...enuff already...skrg ni aku tgh buzy packing barang2 utk balik esok....memula parents aku kata nak dtg sabtu...tup tup esok plak...harusla aku kelam kabut ari ni...sbb kena packing secepat mungkin...letih la letih...aku bawak balik baju baju ngan kompueter je...sbb buku2 dan brg2 lain...aku nak tinggal je....mls aku nka angkut turun naik tangga...tp aku letak tempat tersorok la...kat mana ? rahsia (giggles)ingatkan sempat la nak berkaraoke sepam dua mlm esok....nampaknya...tangguh next sem la.... anime dan tv series serta movie2...tak burn lagi...byk benda nak burn dlm cd dan dvd ni...hayooo....kena siapkan pack ptg ni gak sbb mlm ni nak tgk tv, finale, result show american idol 4.....
laters...
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 4 FINALE - PART 1
no more about sad thing...coz i have enjoyed myself tonite with the show...well, not really...but still can count it as an entertainment....
well, Carrie Underwood vs Bo Bice in the finale...i dont see any of these finalist have the advantage to win the competition coz both of them have 50-50 chances...both of them in the same league...compared to last season, Fantasia, obviously overpowering Diana Degarmo in the finale...and i think she overpower everyone in the competition...as expected, she did win the competition and become the 3rd American Idol. Same goes to Jaclyn Victor; our very 1st malaysian Idol who always showed us great vocal and performance and won the competition...i'm sure that she deserved that title...and overpowering Dina...and overshadow all the finalists...
Tonite, i cant make any guess, wether Carrie or Bo will win this competition...both of them, dont put all of their effort to win this competition...their performance were so bad and i think last week was a lot better than tonite....i think, they are very nervous and be too careful to avoid any mistake....
Overall, its just okay...but i dont like it...very bad songs selection and feels like they're still in the semi final...not up to the standard...i think...if the competition is between Vonzell and Constantine...i'm sure...more interesting performance will be shown tonite...anyway, only country song that can fit Carrie...and for Bo...better u stay as a rockers...
really frustrated.....i wish, for tomorrow, result show...all the finalists will give a great performance...but unfortunately...they never performed a great group performance....although i try to listen it over and over...i still cannot like it...
well, Carrie Underwood vs Bo Bice in the finale...i dont see any of these finalist have the advantage to win the competition coz both of them have 50-50 chances...both of them in the same league...compared to last season, Fantasia, obviously overpowering Diana Degarmo in the finale...and i think she overpower everyone in the competition...as expected, she did win the competition and become the 3rd American Idol. Same goes to Jaclyn Victor; our very 1st malaysian Idol who always showed us great vocal and performance and won the competition...i'm sure that she deserved that title...and overpowering Dina...and overshadow all the finalists...
Tonite, i cant make any guess, wether Carrie or Bo will win this competition...both of them, dont put all of their effort to win this competition...their performance were so bad and i think last week was a lot better than tonite....i think, they are very nervous and be too careful to avoid any mistake....
Overall, its just okay...but i dont like it...very bad songs selection and feels like they're still in the semi final...not up to the standard...i think...if the competition is between Vonzell and Constantine...i'm sure...more interesting performance will be shown tonite...anyway, only country song that can fit Carrie...and for Bo...better u stay as a rockers...
really frustrated.....i wish, for tomorrow, result show...all the finalists will give a great performance...but unfortunately...they never performed a great group performance....although i try to listen it over and over...i still cannot like it...
IF SUICIDE IS ALLOWED...
Well, exam dah abis....dan skrg ni, aku totally gunakan masa aku utk relax sepuas2nya...i think i had worn out coz of the struggle for final exam...but i think, still not enuff...i didnt put so much effort into this....and i have to try my best and put all of my energy, effort and also time next time...maybe its kinda late for me to do this but i have to do...sungguh meyedihkan bila melihat satu persatu, my best friends...graduate form this unversity and left me alone, stuck up in here...well, its not theirs fault...obviously, i'm the one who didnt realize a single thing and wanna enjoy the university's life to the fullest. as a result, i have to spend one and a half year to finish my study...i hate to say it, but i have to face it that i'm an extender....
this is the first time in my life...i feel like...i'm a totally loser...maybe i had enjoyed so much...celebrating the winning moment...and never lost one single point...but rite now, i'm losing my grip and i know now that...i'm not so lucky in academic...i keep on thinking, sometimes...why i have to face this failure ? before this, i was the best student in my primary school...scored 4A's in UPSR and i'm the one who got 9A's in my PMR and on top of that..i scored 8 agregat in my SPM...u can see the track, rite ?...i always be the best...but, i think...i started to feel unsecure when i cant be the best student for SPM in my school...why cant i be the best ? i try my best but the output is not the way i want it...then i came UTP, to change my life...try to be the best student again...but i keep on failing...maybe i'm getting stupid or people getting more clever than me...
so, i give up...i know its not the good decision but..what shud i do if the ouput still the same...no matter how hard u try, u cant get what u want...rite now...i'm just an average guy with average academic background...up to this point...i just did my best to get a result that can make me survive in this university...and i did it well...but nothing to proud of....
its good for acai, to see him graduate and have a very good job with good pay...and i'm very happy for him....same goes to katak....and this time....its katong's and huda's turn...to left me behind....and graduate soon...and they will get a job soon....i'm really happy for them....but only me, who left behind and wathing their back and they keep move on without knowing that i cant catch up anymore...i feel so inferior and if suicide is allowed...i wanna kill myself rite now...coz up to this time, i have nothing to be proud of....just wanna disappear and put an end to this...
but, apa guna menyesal skrg atas apa yg sudah berlaku...time wont rolls back and tangisan tak bererti apa2....baik teruskan hidup dgn apa yg ada...dgn kemampuan yg ada....cuba utk membaiki diri....after this i have to try very hard....i dont care if it worn me out or not...yg penting i can do something to my idiot and lazy brain, boost it up and use it to the fullest...slps saja paper yg terakhir, ari tu...aku rs sgt gembira sbb dpt menjawab ngan agak baik dan i feel like motivated once more...but its not enuff...i have to use my brain until it explode...so i get good result to make my mom and dad proud of me...i dont care if get sick, the most important thing is..i can score well and can graduate and get a good job and settle down with my own family and spending my time with my children...
this is the first time in my life...i feel like...i'm a totally loser...maybe i had enjoyed so much...celebrating the winning moment...and never lost one single point...but rite now, i'm losing my grip and i know now that...i'm not so lucky in academic...i keep on thinking, sometimes...why i have to face this failure ? before this, i was the best student in my primary school...scored 4A's in UPSR and i'm the one who got 9A's in my PMR and on top of that..i scored 8 agregat in my SPM...u can see the track, rite ?...i always be the best...but, i think...i started to feel unsecure when i cant be the best student for SPM in my school...why cant i be the best ? i try my best but the output is not the way i want it...then i came UTP, to change my life...try to be the best student again...but i keep on failing...maybe i'm getting stupid or people getting more clever than me...
so, i give up...i know its not the good decision but..what shud i do if the ouput still the same...no matter how hard u try, u cant get what u want...rite now...i'm just an average guy with average academic background...up to this point...i just did my best to get a result that can make me survive in this university...and i did it well...but nothing to proud of....
its good for acai, to see him graduate and have a very good job with good pay...and i'm very happy for him....same goes to katak....and this time....its katong's and huda's turn...to left me behind....and graduate soon...and they will get a job soon....i'm really happy for them....but only me, who left behind and wathing their back and they keep move on without knowing that i cant catch up anymore...i feel so inferior and if suicide is allowed...i wanna kill myself rite now...coz up to this time, i have nothing to be proud of....just wanna disappear and put an end to this...
but, apa guna menyesal skrg atas apa yg sudah berlaku...time wont rolls back and tangisan tak bererti apa2....baik teruskan hidup dgn apa yg ada...dgn kemampuan yg ada....cuba utk membaiki diri....after this i have to try very hard....i dont care if it worn me out or not...yg penting i can do something to my idiot and lazy brain, boost it up and use it to the fullest...slps saja paper yg terakhir, ari tu...aku rs sgt gembira sbb dpt menjawab ngan agak baik dan i feel like motivated once more...but its not enuff...i have to use my brain until it explode...so i get good result to make my mom and dad proud of me...i dont care if get sick, the most important thing is..i can score well and can graduate and get a good job and settle down with my own family and spending my time with my children...
EXAM SUDAH BERAKHIR
akhirnya, final exam dah abis utk aku bg sem jan05 ni...paper last ni paper core, paper cpic..tapi exam tadi bolehla buat...at least aku takkan fail la course ni... lega rasanya...mcm dah ikang satu bebanan atas bahu aku...skrg ni tunggu result je la...so, skrg ni aku lepak2 je kat bilik sambil layan anime. movies, tv series...byk tu.....skrg mata dah kuyu...kena tido la skrg...esok aku bebel lagi...
Saturday, May 21, 2005
MY BIRTHDAY: 18 July (CANCER)
Your personal ruling planets are Moon and Mars.
Though your natural impulse is to boldly go where no man has gone before, something stops you. Some sense of inadequacy at times. This frustrates you and denies you the success that would otherwise be yours. You harbour grudges at times which are better expressed through the Mars influence. Even then, you may be abrupt and irritable in off-loading your frustrations.
Be more tactful and diplomatic in dealing with others and don't be too proud to ask for help.
Your lucky colours are red, maroon and scarlet and autumn tones.
Your lucky gems are red coral and garnet.
Your lucky days of the week are Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
Your lucky numbers and years of important change are 9, 18, 27, 36. 45, 54, 63, 72.
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Like the crab that represents them, people who are born under the sign of Cancer can be curious and complex creatures. Emotional security and tranquility are your overriding concerns, and you tend to feel things deeply. If you are a Cancer, you are most likely doggedly determined when it comes to getting what you want if it will promote your sense of safety. You are very conscience-ridden, which explains your strong sense of responsibility towards not only yourself but others. When you put your mind to it, you almost always achieve your goals.
People might find you extremely difficult to get to know as you can be shy and evasive in public, but you are open, loyal and protective to those close friends and family whom you trust. Perhaps because the Sun changes direction in Cancer, you can be temperamental. At times you will seem to have the greatest love for life, yet at others you can be nothing but a self-pitying mess. You can be pleasant and cheerful, or you can be egotistical and vain.
A trait which others might find annoying about you is that you are most likely passive-aggressive. This can lead to a lot of stubbornness on your part. You do, however, pay attention to details and are usually punctual, exact, and efficient. But let others beware: only you can talk yourself into something, and no-one can make you do anything that you don't want to do.
Your friends may note that you are a good listener and are emotionally sensitive. If you have a problem, such as worries about your family or money, you are more likely to brood over it than to seek solace or solutions. Deep down, all you want is to feel safe, secure, and loved. This aspect of your personality goes hand-in-hand with your strong domestic urge. There is little more that you would like than to settle down and create a home. You do well in relationships because you are a good diplomat whenever problems arise, and you never forget a single moment of anything that ever happens. Partnerships are preferable to you, as the thought of loneliness is frightening. If you can control the mood swings and tendency to retreat into your shell at the merest hint of trouble, you can do very well.
Though your natural impulse is to boldly go where no man has gone before, something stops you. Some sense of inadequacy at times. This frustrates you and denies you the success that would otherwise be yours. You harbour grudges at times which are better expressed through the Mars influence. Even then, you may be abrupt and irritable in off-loading your frustrations.
Be more tactful and diplomatic in dealing with others and don't be too proud to ask for help.
Your lucky colours are red, maroon and scarlet and autumn tones.
Your lucky gems are red coral and garnet.
Your lucky days of the week are Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
Your lucky numbers and years of important change are 9, 18, 27, 36. 45, 54, 63, 72.
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Like the crab that represents them, people who are born under the sign of Cancer can be curious and complex creatures. Emotional security and tranquility are your overriding concerns, and you tend to feel things deeply. If you are a Cancer, you are most likely doggedly determined when it comes to getting what you want if it will promote your sense of safety. You are very conscience-ridden, which explains your strong sense of responsibility towards not only yourself but others. When you put your mind to it, you almost always achieve your goals.
People might find you extremely difficult to get to know as you can be shy and evasive in public, but you are open, loyal and protective to those close friends and family whom you trust. Perhaps because the Sun changes direction in Cancer, you can be temperamental. At times you will seem to have the greatest love for life, yet at others you can be nothing but a self-pitying mess. You can be pleasant and cheerful, or you can be egotistical and vain.
A trait which others might find annoying about you is that you are most likely passive-aggressive. This can lead to a lot of stubbornness on your part. You do, however, pay attention to details and are usually punctual, exact, and efficient. But let others beware: only you can talk yourself into something, and no-one can make you do anything that you don't want to do.
Your friends may note that you are a good listener and are emotionally sensitive. If you have a problem, such as worries about your family or money, you are more likely to brood over it than to seek solace or solutions. Deep down, all you want is to feel safe, secure, and loved. This aspect of your personality goes hand-in-hand with your strong domestic urge. There is little more that you would like than to settle down and create a home. You do well in relationships because you are a good diplomat whenever problems arise, and you never forget a single moment of anything that ever happens. Partnerships are preferable to you, as the thought of loneliness is frightening. If you can control the mood swings and tendency to retreat into your shell at the merest hint of trouble, you can do very well.
TINGGAL SATU PAPER LAGI!!!!
hmm, tadi berakhirnya satu lagi paper....ala, paper koku je pun...sem ni aku amik drama & teater...senang je...lecturer tu pun dah bg segala mcm hint, pastu...soalan2 dia pulak...just common sense...ko tak tau pun, still leh kelentong....kiranya, itulah paper last aku utk subjek koku...kiranya dah abisla koku, dah cukup 3 credit hour...
so, tinggal last paper ari isnin ni.... paper susah plak tu...paper chemical plant and instrumentation control atau short form nye... cpic....takuit siot paper ni...dah la paper ni aku amik dua kali...bukan aku fail but last sem aku amik mc, sebab skit (sakit betul2 ke atau sakit cuak ? hehehe)...so, aku kena struggle la paper ni...kena score at least dpt b+. mampu ke kaedahnya ? dahla coswork tak le bih 30/40, nak dpt A mmg sudah mustahil....so, paling tinggi aku lebih dapat aku rasa is A-, yg mana aku pun rasa mustahil utk aku dpt...bukan aku tak percaya kat diri sendiri but aku tau sejauh mana kemampuan aku dlm subjek ni...aku rasa...paling tinggi aku boleh capai is B+. tapi bg aku kalo dah dpt B pun dah ok...yela, test pun aku cukup2 mkn lulus...exam mesti susahnye....takut2, trauma dah aku...ngan suasana exam....
tapi, harapan nak dpt 3 pointer mmg tak boleh dah...sbb ada satu paper yg aku tak score...sob sob, sedih sgt....aku rs nak menangis, lps jawab paper tu....tula, soh blajar elok2 tak mau...kan dah kena repeat paper...bukan nya sekali tp byk kali pulak tu....huhu....tp camne2 pun, sem ni...i have to try my best... yelah, kompem dah extend 3 sem...byk tu....acai pun dah kerja, apau pun dah kerja...katong ngan hoda dan erry pun grad sem ni...so, nnt tinggal aku sorg je kat sini...yg tak abis2 lagi belajar...patutnya, skrg ni...aku dah mula pikirkan psl nak ketja tp study tak abis2 lagi...
aku rs sgt bersalah ngan mama ngan abah...i'm the eldest but i cannot give them good expression....spatutnya, skrg ni...aku dah kerja dan bg duit kat mama dan abah tp skrg ni...aku still berharap duit diorg....next sem, bila extend sem, secara automatiknyer akan extend scholarship....itu pun kalo dpt...kalo tak, aku tak tahula camne....
well i think...i start to think things more maturedly...start thinking the effects of any kind of actions that i'm gonna taken or had taken...start thinking the future, start thinking about myself...where i'm gonna be in next 10 years...wether have any improvement or not....i dont know...but i try to promise myself...in next 10 years...i must have a good job with good salary...i have my own car and my house and give my parents some of my salary to them and start thinking to find a partner..?
...what type of partner, i'm still not sure...coz rite now, i dont think about that yet...for me its too early..i dont want to have any attachment with anyone, if i cannot accomplished my own mission, my own targets...aku rela, adik2 aku kawen dulu...aku tak kisah langkah bendul atau apa...coz itu hanyalah mitos...anything happen is in GOD'S hands...sbb aku rasa bersalah ngan adik2 aku...disebabkan aku extend sem ni...diorg terpaksa terima indirect effects...coz i know, my parents love me very much, and they will do anythings for me...and till now..i had already taken more advantages and i think its over limit rite now...i think i have to be fair with my siblings...i know...all parents will love their children but i can feel like i have the attention more than my brothers and sister...i'm glad that they do love me, although i had failed to fulfill their needs...to see me graduate in time...but what can i say coz that thing is already happening...i cannot correct anything in the past...but i try to prove to myself that i have change...although its not a major thing but i know that i have change a lil bit...but i think its not enuff...
well, mama and abah...i cannot promise u that i can achieve 3 pointers this sem...but i try not to fail any papers...i dont want to promise anything coz i afraid i cannot fullfill my promise...so you'll be dissappointed with me and i'm gonna be ur useless and worthless child...i dont want to be like that...but i try my best to get good result, better than last sem...and this time..i promise to myself that i'm gonna spent at least 6 hours a day for study...its sound funny isnt it ? coz i shud make this promise, on the first day i'm in UTP but at that time my blindness had fooled me and i dont ahead, waht gonna happen in the future...so, rite now...i had felt the effects so i have to change myself by make a promise to myself...its ridiculous but i dont care what people think...coz this time, i must believe in myself and must prove to myself that i can do it!!!! i'll accept it as a challenge
so, my last paper is next tuesday...wish me luck, ok ? i need to study rite now....
so, tinggal last paper ari isnin ni.... paper susah plak tu...paper chemical plant and instrumentation control atau short form nye... cpic....takuit siot paper ni...dah la paper ni aku amik dua kali...bukan aku fail but last sem aku amik mc, sebab skit (sakit betul2 ke atau sakit cuak ? hehehe)...so, aku kena struggle la paper ni...kena score at least dpt b+. mampu ke kaedahnya ? dahla coswork tak le bih 30/40, nak dpt A mmg sudah mustahil....so, paling tinggi aku lebih dapat aku rasa is A-, yg mana aku pun rasa mustahil utk aku dpt...bukan aku tak percaya kat diri sendiri but aku tau sejauh mana kemampuan aku dlm subjek ni...aku rasa...paling tinggi aku boleh capai is B+. tapi bg aku kalo dah dpt B pun dah ok...yela, test pun aku cukup2 mkn lulus...exam mesti susahnye....takut2, trauma dah aku...ngan suasana exam....
tapi, harapan nak dpt 3 pointer mmg tak boleh dah...sbb ada satu paper yg aku tak score...sob sob, sedih sgt....aku rs nak menangis, lps jawab paper tu....tula, soh blajar elok2 tak mau...kan dah kena repeat paper...bukan nya sekali tp byk kali pulak tu....huhu....tp camne2 pun, sem ni...i have to try my best... yelah, kompem dah extend 3 sem...byk tu....acai pun dah kerja, apau pun dah kerja...katong ngan hoda dan erry pun grad sem ni...so, nnt tinggal aku sorg je kat sini...yg tak abis2 lagi belajar...patutnya, skrg ni...aku dah mula pikirkan psl nak ketja tp study tak abis2 lagi...
aku rs sgt bersalah ngan mama ngan abah...i'm the eldest but i cannot give them good expression....spatutnya, skrg ni...aku dah kerja dan bg duit kat mama dan abah tp skrg ni...aku still berharap duit diorg....next sem, bila extend sem, secara automatiknyer akan extend scholarship....itu pun kalo dpt...kalo tak, aku tak tahula camne....
well i think...i start to think things more maturedly...start thinking the effects of any kind of actions that i'm gonna taken or had taken...start thinking the future, start thinking about myself...where i'm gonna be in next 10 years...wether have any improvement or not....i dont know...but i try to promise myself...in next 10 years...i must have a good job with good salary...i have my own car and my house and give my parents some of my salary to them and start thinking to find a partner..?
...what type of partner, i'm still not sure...coz rite now, i dont think about that yet...for me its too early..i dont want to have any attachment with anyone, if i cannot accomplished my own mission, my own targets...aku rela, adik2 aku kawen dulu...aku tak kisah langkah bendul atau apa...coz itu hanyalah mitos...anything happen is in GOD'S hands...sbb aku rasa bersalah ngan adik2 aku...disebabkan aku extend sem ni...diorg terpaksa terima indirect effects...coz i know, my parents love me very much, and they will do anythings for me...and till now..i had already taken more advantages and i think its over limit rite now...i think i have to be fair with my siblings...i know...all parents will love their children but i can feel like i have the attention more than my brothers and sister...i'm glad that they do love me, although i had failed to fulfill their needs...to see me graduate in time...but what can i say coz that thing is already happening...i cannot correct anything in the past...but i try to prove to myself that i have change...although its not a major thing but i know that i have change a lil bit...but i think its not enuff...
well, mama and abah...i cannot promise u that i can achieve 3 pointers this sem...but i try not to fail any papers...i dont want to promise anything coz i afraid i cannot fullfill my promise...so you'll be dissappointed with me and i'm gonna be ur useless and worthless child...i dont want to be like that...but i try my best to get good result, better than last sem...and this time..i promise to myself that i'm gonna spent at least 6 hours a day for study...its sound funny isnt it ? coz i shud make this promise, on the first day i'm in UTP but at that time my blindness had fooled me and i dont ahead, waht gonna happen in the future...so, rite now...i had felt the effects so i have to change myself by make a promise to myself...its ridiculous but i dont care what people think...coz this time, i must believe in myself and must prove to myself that i can do it!!!! i'll accept it as a challenge
so, my last paper is next tuesday...wish me luck, ok ? i need to study rite now....
Friday, May 20, 2005
FRIENDSHIP NEVER END, THE SAD THING IS, IT WILL END SOON
apa topik nak ckp ari ni ? hmmm...i wanna talk about frens....well, i think everyone have frens...dr yg muda hingga tu, kecik hingga besar dan miskin hingga kaya...semua ada kawan, kan kan ? tapi adakah frens tu, akan berkekalan atau just tempat persinggahan untuk kita mendapat frens yg lagi bagus, lagi selesa dan lagi menguntungkan kita ?
well, we do need frens...coz frens make us happy and make us feel comfortable but sometimes we do have frens yg fungsinya hanyalah untuk menyakitkan hati kita, meyusahkan kita dan seribu macam masalah lagi...so, first of all, try to get rid this kind of frens coz....mereka inilah yg paling byk di muka bumi ini...
without frens, our life will be so dull and make us feel like dead people.... with frens, we can share thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions and maybe boyfrens or gurlfrens ? ahahahah, just kidding....for me, i'll never share any of my "special frens" to others...why ? coz theyre special, and special things belong to me...
i had cried becoz of frens...got mad becoz of fren...feel sad becoz of frens...taste the happiness with frens and living together with frens....all these things make me feel really happy about myself..coz i have a bunch of wonderful frens to cling with...and really have great fun with them..
but, sadly...if ur being such a jerk to ur frens...its really worthless....coz without frens u'll live alone and no one will care bout u after this...its really feel like dead man coz only dead man , dont have any frens (except the ones who're always got their prayers from their beloved family and FRENS....coz the prayers will be a good companion in the graveyard)
so, the issue is being hypocrite...i really hate this people...i think many people hate this kind of fren....well, they will behave nicely, talk nicely, and will treat u nicely...but all that things will happen only in front of u...but, at ur back...they will be the evil...who dislikes u the most, who hates u the most and who who talk bad about u the most.....u know, this hypocrite thing really make me feel sad and angry....coz i'm gonna loose my beloved frens...but, why shud i love them in the first place if they dont deserve it....
it just a waste of time if u love somebody but u dont get something in return...just a plain love with nothing inside it...this frenship thing really plays a big role in my life coz i could never life without frens...u know, sometimes i had cried all nite long...thinking, why this thing shud happen...i try so hard to keep the frenship but in the end...it disappeared just like that....i dont know , what is wrong with u, is it my faults, that u changed so much ? why this thing must happen rite now ?? i keep thinking bout that and i cant find the anwers....too many questions in my head need an answer....if i did wrong just tell me.....i'll keep it secret and wont let anyone knows bout it....
i try to pretend tnat nothing happened....but i cant lie myself anymore...just now, i met u...hoping that u will gimme that sweet smile but nothing come out, just a HI and u walk away....if i did something wrong...please forgive me....i will admit my faults....and i will apologized....i know...that thing gonna happen coz ur totally change but deep in my heart i will always believe that ur my best fren i had such a great time with u, although the time is too short for us to continue the journey...u know, i dont care if u have to be hypocrite but just talk to me and say a word more than just HI....although u may hate me but please be hypocrite and talk to me and lets pretend that nothing ever happened....so, we can move on with our life without any regret....
it will hurt me so much being a hypocrite but if the hypoctite things will make other things better...i guess, it is ok for me...to play along the game....
well, we do need frens...coz frens make us happy and make us feel comfortable but sometimes we do have frens yg fungsinya hanyalah untuk menyakitkan hati kita, meyusahkan kita dan seribu macam masalah lagi...so, first of all, try to get rid this kind of frens coz....mereka inilah yg paling byk di muka bumi ini...
without frens, our life will be so dull and make us feel like dead people.... with frens, we can share thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions and maybe boyfrens or gurlfrens ? ahahahah, just kidding....for me, i'll never share any of my "special frens" to others...why ? coz theyre special, and special things belong to me...
i had cried becoz of frens...got mad becoz of fren...feel sad becoz of frens...taste the happiness with frens and living together with frens....all these things make me feel really happy about myself..coz i have a bunch of wonderful frens to cling with...and really have great fun with them..
but, sadly...if ur being such a jerk to ur frens...its really worthless....coz without frens u'll live alone and no one will care bout u after this...its really feel like dead man coz only dead man , dont have any frens (except the ones who're always got their prayers from their beloved family and FRENS....coz the prayers will be a good companion in the graveyard)
so, the issue is being hypocrite...i really hate this people...i think many people hate this kind of fren....well, they will behave nicely, talk nicely, and will treat u nicely...but all that things will happen only in front of u...but, at ur back...they will be the evil...who dislikes u the most, who hates u the most and who who talk bad about u the most.....u know, this hypocrite thing really make me feel sad and angry....coz i'm gonna loose my beloved frens...but, why shud i love them in the first place if they dont deserve it....
it just a waste of time if u love somebody but u dont get something in return...just a plain love with nothing inside it...this frenship thing really plays a big role in my life coz i could never life without frens...u know, sometimes i had cried all nite long...thinking, why this thing shud happen...i try so hard to keep the frenship but in the end...it disappeared just like that....i dont know , what is wrong with u, is it my faults, that u changed so much ? why this thing must happen rite now ?? i keep thinking bout that and i cant find the anwers....too many questions in my head need an answer....if i did wrong just tell me.....i'll keep it secret and wont let anyone knows bout it....
i try to pretend tnat nothing happened....but i cant lie myself anymore...just now, i met u...hoping that u will gimme that sweet smile but nothing come out, just a HI and u walk away....if i did something wrong...please forgive me....i will admit my faults....and i will apologized....i know...that thing gonna happen coz ur totally change but deep in my heart i will always believe that ur my best fren i had such a great time with u, although the time is too short for us to continue the journey...u know, i dont care if u have to be hypocrite but just talk to me and say a word more than just HI....although u may hate me but please be hypocrite and talk to me and lets pretend that nothing ever happened....so, we can move on with our life without any regret....
it will hurt me so much being a hypocrite but if the hypoctite things will make other things better...i guess, it is ok for me...to play along the game....
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
HARAPAN YANG BERTERBANGAN
hmmm...dua paper dah berlalu...paper 1st mmg sgt memberandsangkan...tp 2nd paper ni...cam hampeh...ingat nak score 3 pointers em ni...tp cam haram la jadinya....punah sungguh harapan....kenapa aku bengap sgt ngan math ni......nak bunuh diri la...kalo tak dpt 3 pointer atau fail paper math ni...kalo score dan lulus paper math ni...aku berjanji akan study setiap mlm bersungguh sungguh, and no new perfume for the whole next sem....dan juga kena tambahkan amal ibadat...leh tertunai ke janji aku ni ? aku harap2...boleh... aku berazam!!!!
Sunday, May 15, 2005
ESOK FINAL EXAM!!!
takutnya!!!! esok dah start exam...dahla first paper aku, on da first day of the exam....argh!!!! seriau rasanya....paper ni pulak paper repeat...introduction to c++ programming atau nama barunya, structured programming...susah siot, subjek ni....pening kepala nak memahamnya...dahla aku ni bukan otak programming...mujurla coswork boleh tahan la jugak...tp aku nak dpt A tp mcm takleh je nak dpt A tu...sbb coswork tak mampu nak support A, rasanya paling tinggi aku leh dpt B+ je...harap, aku score la subjek ni....kena dpt 3 pointer sem ni...kalo tak dpt 3 pointer, baik bunuh diri je...hayoooo, takut takut...kena study la skarang
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