Tuesday, December 07, 2010
AKU TIDAK INGIN LAGI MENYAMBUNGNGYA LAGI
BIARLAH KAMI BERTERUSAN HANYA SEBAGAI KAWAN BAIK KERANA HUBUNGAN PERSAHABATAN AKAN LEBIH KEKAL LAMA
DAN AKU REDHA DENGAN APA YANG BERLAKU
AKU TAU DAN YAKIN, SEMESTINYA ADA HIKMAH DI SEBALIK SEMUA INI
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
harapanku punah, jiwaku kesal, hatiku kecewa, kepercayaanku hancur.
aku amat menyayangi dan menghargai dia.
kenapa dia tidak buat begitu kepadaku ? kenapa dia tidak nampak tulus dan ikhlasnya cintaku.
aku penat, mungkin ini masanya utk aku pergi jauh. detik masa pun sudah bermula...
Friday, October 15, 2010
LAGIPUN, AKU RASA MCM BADAN AKU DAH SAKIT2 DAN SENGAL2 SIKIT, HASIL DARI GYM. TAPI HARI INI, ADA CLASS DANCE YANG BEST, ZOMBA DANCE CLASS. RUGI TAK JOIN TAPI AKU RASA BADAN AKU MCM NAK KENA REHAT KEJAP.
TAPI RUGI, SBB SABTU DAN AHAD DAH TAK PERGI GYM. GYM TU DEKAT NGAN OPIS DI PUCHONG. UMAH AKU LAK DI CHERAS. MEMANG TAK JAUH TAPI MALASNYA NAK DRIVE KE PUCHONG KALO BUKAN DISEBABKAN NAK GI OPIS.
TAKPELA, WEEKEND NI, AKU GANTI NGAN LARI2 DI TAMAN TASIK KAT AREA RUMAH JE LA. AT LEAST, ADA KUAR PELUH SIKIT.
HARI INI PUN AKU DAH BUAT SATU CRIME. AKU MAKAN NASI LBH DR SATU SENDUK NGAN AYAM GORENG !!!!!! DAH BERAPA BANYAK KALORI TU. SBG DENDA, MALAM NI TAKLEH MAKAN BERAT DAH. CUKUPLA SANDWICH WHOLE BREAD WITH SALAD DAN SCRAMBLED EGG
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Friday, October 08, 2010
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Apa pun, although i angry and sad dgn apa terjadi, wierdly i berterima kasih kepada mereka sebab put the effort untuk M buat self confession depan i. i know it is hard for M to come clean and it is even harder for me to listen to it. In my rational thinking, i know they have good intention to let me know that M cheated on me.
to be honest, i boleh maafkan M cheated on me (i pun pernah 21 years old and i have been there done that and you knew, rite ?) cuma, i rasa terkilan dan sedih sbb M tak nampak the value of our relationship. tak nampak the exclusiveness of relationship. betul kata diorang, M masih muda dan byk benda dia nak explore.
i adalah seorang yang selfish jika i biar dia stucked up ngan i tanpa dia explore zaman teenager dia. i yang bersalah sebab paksa dia utk berpikir macam i, yang sudah berumur 28 tahun sedangkan dia mungkin memerlukan lagi 7 tahun untuk berpikir sama macam i.
sebab itu, i let M go. biar dia explore puas2. bila dia dah puas, dan dah dapat apa yang dia nak, dia boleh kembali kpd i dan i terima dengan hati terbuka. tak semestinya untuk kembali menjadi pasangan but the love can be express in many different ways. kalo dia masih sudi, i mmg akan gembira. tapi kalau dia jumpa yang lagi baik daripada i, dan boleh jaga dia lebih baik daripada i, i am more than happy.
yang penting, dia dapat abiskan study dia, grad dan dapat good job utk kelangsungan hidup dia. selagi dia tak sampai ke tahap itu, selagi itulah i tetap akan terus memerhatikan dia, dari jauh pun tidak mengapa. i akan rasa bersalah sekiranya dia tak berjaya. i akan berasakan, i adalah seorang bf yang gagal.
mungkin i akan ambil masa yang agak panjang utk kembali stable but please just bear with me. if you are really my best friends.....please bear with me.
Even now, they make fun of me, of what I said on my breakup scene, seawal-awal hari pertama I breakup. Adakah mereka tiada rasa simpati ngan I ? adakah mereka ingat ini adalah satu perkara yang kelakar. I bukan mcm diorg. Yes, I am helplessly romantic guy but itu bukanlah license utk diorg kutuk2 i.
I paham, diorg buat tu nak cheer me up, but bagilah I masa utk adjust diri sendiri. They expect me to heal as soon as possible, so they can use that sbg bahan lawak. What do u expect ? I baru breakup malam tadi, esoknya dah buat lawak pasal apa yg berlaku. Kalo pun nak buat jokes, biarlah reda dulu benda ni.
Diorg tatau yg I cry every night before sleeping, I cry while driving back and forth to the office. I cry while do the laundry, I cry while seeing the fish in akuarium, I cry when seeing the laptop. And even worse I cry when I see M shirt tergantung kat hanger. But I tanak citer benda2 ni, sbb org akan take this sbg lawak dan akan make fun of me. Sbb tu, I nak senyap je, tanak mention apa2. I put my best face di depan dan biar I pendam saja duka I sendiri.
Right now, I tatau sapa lagi I nak trust. I rasa biar I deal sendiri problem i. lagipun, I bukanlah sapa2. semua org ada life masing2 dan I buat hal I sendiri je, pretend I happy. Kawan2 I pun tanak I sedih2, so I akan buat apa diorg nak walaupun sbnrnya I sgt bersedih dalam hati.
Yes, M cheated on me and maybe M have hidden agenda on me but I still want M to be, at least within my sight and I don’t want M to cut me off directly. Right now, I don’t have any chance to do that anymore since M already removed me from fb (I curi2 tgk profile dia, utk tau apa perkembangan dia). Thanks to everyone for doing the good job.
They realized that M is just 21 years old and agreed that I treated M like a kid but what they did was even worse. They mocked M, perli2 dlm fb, sindir dia, for what had happened to me. That is just so wrong.
I sbg bf dia pun, yang bagi teguran secara elok dan cakap baik2, pun dia marah2 ngan I, apatah lagi kawan2 kita yang mmg terkenal ngan mulut laser. Dia tak tahan peer pressure that is why M removed everyone including me (previously, M did not remove me and they make speculation about it and post it in fb too). Are they matured enuff ?
Kadang2, I tak paham kenapa it turn out to be like this. Sometimes, I rasa nak salahkan semua org. I rasa menyesal kenalkan M ngan kawan2 i. I rasa menyesal ajak M dok sama ngan i. patutnya, I dok sorg2 dan I ajak M dok sama ngan i. tapi, kalo buat mcm tu, maybe I tatau kecurangan dia but itu bukanlah lesen utk mocked dan perli M mcm tu.
M is just 21 years old and M still don’t know what M want. This statement was said to me, over and over to get me move forward but do they understand what they did to M ?
I can handle peer pressure and I don’t show rasa tak puas hati and I just keep it to myself. Kalo I tak tahan, I nangis la sorg2, sbb I taknak nampak lemah (but I failed to do that on my breakup day).
But M bukan mcm tu, dia tak paham. M cannot deal with that, the peer pressure. M run away instead of dealing with it. Even, I still rasa sedikit sebanyak factor kawan2, buatkan hubungan i dan M makin teruk. Cuma I je tak sedar sbb I rasa bahagia ngan M, I rasa bertuah ngan M. I tatau rupanya M tak happy ngan I, M tak suka cara I dan M tak pernah mention directly to me.
U have been unfair to me. U don’t have time for me when I really need my best friend.
i always be there for you regardless of what kind relationship that u have.
But, I understand ur situation. U already settle down and u have other commitments to focus on and I cant be selfish.
maybe u don’t realize that I am the last person in our circle that involve with relationship. U and A even “changed” partner for more than once. (kapel sebulan tak kira sbg relationship). I even saw the process and always stand by both of you throughout the time. (I believe, A don’t even need me to be the crying shoulder since he is the strongest link and he has the ability of emotion compartmentalizing. Even, I never see A's tears. maybe coz i need him to always be my crying shoulder. i am selfish, rite ?)
As a comparison, this is my first relationship that I can consider as real. Living together for about one year and we broke up on the 23rd of September 2010, which is 1 year and 23 days before it end. That is why, I really need my best friends' shoulder to cry on. Maybe all of us have our own commitments which make things more difficult. I cant run easily to u or A, to cry out loud, just like before.
Maybe, both of u already bosan ngan benda2 mcm ni, since korg berdua dah melaluinya lebih awal. But it is unfair to me since both of u don’t give me the chance to feel what u already felt before. Maybe it is too late since all of us already 28years old and forgive me if I just having this experience at this age. It sound nonsense and funny since this is coming from me, the one who previously not believe in relationship.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
off to perth again. yeay !!!!!! betul ke yeay ???? atau oh nooooooo ?
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Monday, July 05, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
yeay, aku dah berjaya menempuhi hari ketiga di Perth, Australia. Datang bukan melancong tapi sbb kerja. Terima kasih Boss sbb antar ke sini.
Cuaca hari ni panas terik, matahari memancar tapi tak rasa panas pun, sebaliknya sejuk gila, terpaksa pakai sejuk di tengahari buta. Masuk dalam opis, baru rasa panas. Kat luar opis, sejuk gila.
Okla, sambung buat kerja.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Friday, June 04, 2010
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
HARI INI, AKU BARU NAK START BAYAR BIL. BANYAK GAK BIL AKU BAYAR, AKU PUN TAK PASAN, BILA DAH BAYAR BIL, DUIT AKU TINGGAL SIKIT. GAJI BANYAK RIBAN2 PUN, JADI SIKIT BILA DAH BAYAR BIL.
PAYSLIP, BUKAN MAIN GEMPAK NOMBORNYA. TOLAK, EPF, TOLAK SOCSO, TOLAK ZAKAT, TOLAK TABUNG HAJI, TINGGALLAH CIPUT. ADA LEBIH KURANG DALAM 15% GAK GAJI AKU "TERBANG" KE SANA. HAMPEH
CUBA CHECK BALIK, APA BENDA JE YANG AKU BAYAR KAT BIL2 NI.
1) SEWA UMAH = 295.00
2) ASTRO = 29.90
3) AIR = 18.40
4) TMET = 49.50
5) MAXIS = 100
6) INSTALLMENT KERETA = 510
7) HSBC CREDIT CARD = 231.50
8) MAYBANK CREDIT CARD = 25 (BYR MINIMUM...AHAHAH)
9) PRUDENTIAL = 150
10) AL RAJHI LOAN = 475
11) BAYAR HUTANG PISAH SBB BELI HP NGAN DIA = 150
12) BAYAR HUTANG SEUMUR HIDUP NGAN ACAI = 50
WOW, PATUTLA AKU MAKIN BOTAK SEKARANG NI. NTAH APA2 JE AKU BAYAR. NASIB BAIK DOK NGAN HOSMET. BIL DAN SEWA UMAH, TONG2 BAYAR. KALO DOK UMAH SORG2, MACAM MANA ? KOPAK POKET, DOWH. NAK KENA PLAN BALIK BUDGET NI, KALO NAK DOK UMAH SENDIRI, LAGI 2 TAHUN.
NASIB BAIK, ADA BALANCE SIKIT KAT TEMPAT LAIN:
1) LOAN KAT PEAH = 100
2)LOAN KAT MASLINDA = 300
SAVINGS ? TADEK. HARAP MENYIMPAN KAT EPF NGAN TABUNG HAJI JE LA. DAN PRUDENTIAL TU, KONONNYA LEH CONVERT JD SAVING KALO TAK GUNA.
GILA, NAK KENA CARI KERJA BARU NI. NAK KENA DAPAT GAJI 6K KE ATAS. ESOK LAST DATE UTK ANTAR RESUME. PATUT KE AKU ANTAR ? MACAM MENARIK JE OFFER DIA. TAPI AKU SAYANG GAK KOMPENI AKU SKRG NI. NGAN KOMPENI NI LA, AKU LEH MRASA BELI KERETA, DOK KONDO, PAKAI 2 KREDIT, G MEETING NGAN CLIENT (MELANCONG) KE BANGKOK DAN JAKARTA.
KOMPENI LAMA DULU, HAMPEH. BAB GAJI JE LA. TAPI KOMPENI LAMA TU GAKLAH YANG BAGI BANYAK EXPERIENCE KAT AKU. KOMPENI LAMA NI GAK LA, YANG MEMBOLEHKAN AKU MRASA NIKMAT KERJA OFFSHORE. KALO TAK KERANA KOMPENI LAMA, TAK MUNGKIN AKU DPT KERJA NGAN KOMPENI SKARANG. KOMPENI SKARANG LAK, ADALAH PENUNJUK KEPADA KOMPENI BARU YANG MANA AKU NAK PERGI.
AKU RASA, NAK KERJA PART TIME LA, CARI EXTRA MONEY. KEJE KAT 7 11, OK GAK. LEH LA DAPAT 500 SEBULAN. KEJE PART TIME YANG LAMA DULU, KENNY ROGERS, PENAT NAK MAMPUS TAPI GAJI CIPUT. BUT, AKU SUKA JADI WAITER KAT SITU, SBB DAPAT JUMPA DAN KENAL RAMAI ORG. LEBIH2 LAGI DPT MAKAN ONE SET MEAL, FREE!!!! AKU SUKA SGT MAKAN AYAM KENNY ROGERS, MAKAN HARI2 PUN TAKPE.
AKU TAU, JADI PART TIME LECTURER, AJAR QHSE SUBJECT. OK GAK KAN ? TAPI HARI TU, DIORANG NAK YANG ADA MASTER JE. MELEPAS LA, SBB AKU TADE MASTER LAGI. TGKLA LAGI 2,3 TAHUN, AKU NAK AMIK MASTER DLM OSH, LEH GAK BUAT DUIT JADI LECTURER NI. DEGREE AKU SKRG TAK CUKUP LAYAK NAK AJAR ORG. CUKUP MAKAN JE.
WEH, DAH LAMBAT!!!! NAK SIAP G KERJA. BYK LAK MEMBEBEL.
DAH LA, ADA TENDER NAK KENA SUBMIT KAT BOSS ARI NI. LETIHLA, NAK ISI BAB HSE REQUIREMENT. NTAH APA2 JE, SOALAN CLIENT NI. PENING KEPALA AKU NAK MENJAWABNYA. HARAP2, LEH DPT TENDER. MRASA LA, AKU LEH GI AUSTRALIA, BUAT SITE VISIT KAT SANA.....HEHEHE
Monday, May 31, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
4 Laughing eyes
4 Well-shaped legs
4 Loving arms
2 Firm milk containers
1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
1 Firm banana
1. Look into laughing eyes.
2. Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results, continue to knead milk containers.
5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft.
If banana does not soften, repeat 4 steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.
1. If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
JAWAPAN SAYA :
If the employer ask you to do the extra job which still related to hse matters, you need to perform the job well as per agreed in the offer letter.In other words, we will bind by the "working contract" with the company.
For my case, i am QHSE engineer in my company. Since we are small company, only me who runs the quality, health, safety & environment department. Basically, i do everything which related to QHSE matters. I am the SHO, QMS as well as the Training Coordinator for the company. Besides, i also incharge with tender documents which related to QHSE. It is quite hectic but i manage to do everything (although there are some matters slipped and not completed on time). I take it as a challenge and i want to prove myself to the management that i can perform well although with limited resources. But, as a reminder, you have to be "smart" with your boss/management. Not easily accept any task without knowing the risk and consequences of it. That is why you need to do some research and ask experience guys for some advices (you can get experience guys, in this society)
in my previous company, i was given the position of hse engineer and my so called little amount of expertise, only limited to hse matters. When, i changed job, my current company offered me qhse engineer position. Thats mean, quality was added in my job scopes. With zero knowledge of quality, i accepted the offer as a challenge. Throughout a year, i learned a lot with the hard way and managed to bring my company for iso 9001:2008 audit and received the certification.
After a year working here, i am so lucky when finally the management give me an assistant to help me running the department. My point is, it is ok to do other task which outside SHO scope. You can learn more, widen your knowledge and will get added working experience. I believe, it will give you more advantage in the future and will give you extra points in your resume. This is my advice to fresh graduates since it will help you in your future job
If you want to be specific and carry out SHO task only, it is up to you. But for me, it is good to do the extra work (if it will not effect your primary task) since you can get a lot of benefit from it. Stay focus and think positively. It is like an investment. You will not receive the "profit" on the dot but you can harvest it in the future. When? only you know.
My 2 cents,
p/s: my senior said to me, "if you have HSE and QUALITY in your portfolio/resume, obviously you will be more standout from others and have better chances to be picked.