FRIENDSHIP IS VERY VALUABLE...

Hi all!! 10 more minutes before the working hours end. All the tasks that were given by my supervisor have been completed. I feel very happy coz I can finish it earlier, before the due date. Now, its time for me to relax and surf the internet. Hehehe…Now its time to read someone blogs.

But there is one thing that I don’t understand. What is the value friendship ? I’m not the expert to talk bout this but at least I can give opinion bout that, rite ? I love making friends and I love to have more & more friends. Although, I’m a quite shy (sometimes org kata aku sombong) to someone new but I try my best to fit in. It such a waste if you have so many people around you but u cant make them your friend even a single one of them…what a pity, I think. But sometimes, friends make me sad when they don’t value the friendship and don’t even bother to make it valuable…They treat friends like shit but amazingly I still can be friend with them. Why ? Coz I try to fit in and try to accept them as the way they are. This time, I wanna say; pity to me. Always get hurt just to please everyone but its ok, I think. Its my nature and I cant change it even though I try.

For example, Husam (sorry to mention ur name here). I know him since my 1st year in university and we become quite close friend. Have fun together with our circle of friends and everything is always a cheerful time but it doesn’t mean that the sky is always bright (lucu je bunyinya ayat ni). Sometimes, we fight (tarik2 rambut, jerit2 di kedai makan) but after that, everything goes back to normal (of coz there will be a time break to cool down). And in my 4th year, we have a big fight and as a result Husam was outcast from the group. This happened because of one incident and I don’t want to mention that. As long as I remember, I’m not the one who initiated the fight but just back up my friends coz that time I think Husam is totally on the guilty side. As time goes by, in my final year we become friend again although at first I still worry that he would repeat the same mistake. I give him a chance to convince me and I think he is different than before although maybe some of the same old attitude are there (sorry, to be judgmental…I cannot help it..it’s worry actually). As a result we become a good friend once again and having fun time together before I come to Sabah for my internship. He gimme a call yesterday and we chat. (although he just wanna ask Kema’s phone number actually, hmph)

Until now, I keep on thinking, did I make mistake ? Am I the bad one to outcast him from the group ? Am I make wrong action to back up my other friends without rationalized thinking ? Am I the one who don’t value friendship ? Am I the one who cannot be good friend ? All this questions keep on filling my head. Maybe at that times, the anger conquered all my rationalized thinking and made decision that gave bad impact to everyone. When I think deeply, it was not only Husam’s fault. I’m guilty too. I keep on thinking and thinking, what if that incident happen to me ? What action I will take ? What consequences that I may face ? I think more than 50%, I will do the same thing as what Husam did.

I know not everyone understand what I’m talking about but this thing keeps messing up my mind. Lebih2 lagi…some of my friend have perang dingin with each other…and cause chaos the group (I still considered it as agroup since I meet all of them at UTP). I don’t know what happen and what’s going on now…everyone seemed different and everyone cannot tolerate with each other and try not understand and resolve the problems. And its not fun anymore coz everyone choose side and hatred build up in each other heart. Maybe I’m the only who think and feel like this, but it make me sad coz we’re not the same as before. I know, everyone have to move on but do we need to ruin the friendship. Becoz of that, I don’t want to choose side. Maybe my heart is to gentle and maybe coz I learn from my experience or maybe coz I’m getting older that make me freak out to loose something that already in my hand. Its really hurt for me to watch the friendship being tear apart but what I can say if that’s the only way that can solve the problem…. Egoistic is the main problem that need to be encountered. Better ask for forgiveness and think what is the real problem and try to have the most reasonable solution. Maybe after this, anyone will hate me becoz of my statement for today but I have to speak up what I feel and I love all my friends. ( I hate to feel like a mother). I still remember that time when we still in UTP; all of us want to have a big reunion (tunggu la lps aku grad…haih), and have fun together….but I think maybe that just tinggal kenangan…and if there is a reunion, tak cukup korum.

Dah lambat nak ke gym…later.