Once, a gay man went to heaven. At the Pearly Gate Saint Peter was waiting for him. After reviewing his records Saint Peter decided to let him in., "Follow me," he said, opening the gate and walking in.
After some walk, Saint Peter's keys accidentally fell on the ground. Unaware, he bent over to pick up the keys. That was something the gay man just couldn't resist, so he jumped on him and did his thing.
Saint Peter was furious., "If you do that again, you'll go straight to hell! Follow me, we're almost there."
After some more Peter dropped his keys again, and again, the gay man jumped on him. Saint Peter was even more furious than before, but decided to give the gay guy one last chance.
Again they walk and for the third time Saint Peter drops his keys, so he bends over and picks them up. The gay guy, having no self control jumps on him. Saint Peter is now fed up and sends the gay guy straight to hell.
A few weeks later, Saint Peter goes down to hell for his routine inspection, but this time something is wrong. It is freezing, no fire, no lava and in one corner, he finds the devil lying under a stack of blankets freezing his ass off.
"Why is it so god damn cold down here?" Saint Peter asks.
"I'm afraid to bend over for firewood!" the devil replied.
Joke 2 :
Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in.
The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family's Christmas tree. He is allowed entry to Heaven.
The second man offers a bow and some ribbon, from presents that were opened earlier that evening. He too is allowed entry to Heaven.
The third man reaches into his pocket and produces a pair of panties.
Confused at the man's gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do panties represent Christmas?"
The man replies, "Oh, they're Carol's."
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