BOSAN DAN BOSAN

betul org kata, trening ni bosan...dan aku telah merasakan kebosanannya...masuk minggu ke3 ni, aku rasa cam rugi je pergi trening...mmg best pergi ke tmpt baru tapi...itu tak memadai..

tade kerja nak buat....dept. hse asyik kena menaip je, menaip tak abis2..tade pun field work....aku nak request field works pun, tak tau apa yg sesuai utk trainee....last2 aku jadi mcm clerk saja...menaip2 dan mengisi data2 je

takpe, aku pasti pas2ni sure akan ada kerja2 yg best dan lagi mencabar dr taip menaip ni....aku yer fyp report pun dah boleh buat hardbound...mana la nak cr kedai hardbound kat kk ni...mujurla org2 kk ni cando2...sedap gak mata memandang cuma renek2 belaka...sigh~~

2nd WEEK IN KK

HI!! now, is the 2nd week....tak byk kerja nak buat...bosan. yelah dept hse ni, apa sgt leh buat....balik2 baca report, baca manual...pastu kena analisa data....rutin yg sama....tapi better than doing nothin rite ? skrg ni...hubungan ngan staff2 kat sini pun makin mesra...dpt borak2 ngan abg sham...(ha ha ha) kena cepat2 beli digicam ni...rugi kalo dok sini tak amik gambar...n aku pun dah kenal lagi sorg staff yg baru balik dr outstation, perry lo nama dia, kinda cute tu...bila la nak kenal lebih2 ni..susah sikit nak masuk daun.."akak besar" pun dah makin rapat...muka sebiji mcm lorea (for those yg kenal lorea la)...nampaknya, ada la geng nak cikcur2 kat kk ni...tu pun dah ada plan nak ke clubbing...tp nnt dulu la..slow2...tak tau lagi camne market kat kk ni mcm mana...tp org kk ni, semua cute2, cuma satu je problem...renek...susah betul. tp sng je nak mesra, just bagi jelingan2 maut, pastu senyum...dah leh masuk line...ada lagi 30 minggu, so9 tak perlu bimbang....tadi pun baru je bls msg someone di kk ni...nnt kalo free leh la jumpa..aku tak mau tergopoh gapah...must slow n steady, rite ?

adik aku yg study kat ums tu, dtg umah aku semalam...saja nak jln2 katanya....skrg ni, aku kat api2, centre...kat cyber cafe..tgh tunggu dia dtg ke sini...rasanya dah sampai ke centre point tu, sbb igt nak gi tgk wayang lagi...haih, semalam baru je tgk movie, ari ni tgk lagi....bosan dok kat umah tade tv, nak beli mahal...lagi pun bukan permanent dok sini...satgi pun nak gi melalak kat kbox...ahaha, nampakya duit aku abis cam air la...

well, i feel like aku makin suka kk ni....tidak mustahil nnt, aku akan apply kerja kat sini...takpela, tak dok kl pun..kk apa kuragnya...kwn2 lama still leh contact guna sms atau internet ni kan :)

i'm happy to know that acai skrg sudah ada someone...good for him....nampaknya, nnt makin meriahla kehidupan...sapa la manusia malang tu ? (hehehe, jgn marah no..kalo marah, ko jd putih) skrg ni, tinggal aku jela yg single...but aku suka single (for the time being la) bebas nak buat apa2..tp kalo ada cikki pun best gak...cinta itu pasti hadir, biar ia dtg sendiri...

syai pun skrg ni tgk seronok bermandi manda kat pulau tiga, aku mls nak join sekali...biarla dia have fun ngan staff dept dia...nnt senangla kalo dia nak kuar jln2, ke apa...aku ni homely type..dok umah je...malas nak ke mana2...kalo tad ehal penting (atau bosan)

well, i wish u, happy birthday acai, ko skrg sudah tua lagi setahun...nampaknya tahun baru ni, dtg sekali ngan package cinta utk ko...sentap!!!! kena tunggu birthday aku pulak la, harap2 dpt hadiah chenta gak, ahaks....

ok, merry christmas yuol!!! siana dik aku, dah lama tunggu kat pasaraya tu...hehe

THE INTERNSHIP BEGIN...

Hi all, lama tak update blog ni....rite now, i'm in kota kinabalu, sabah. why, am i here ? becoz of the internship...now, in my 2nd week at PETRONAS Carigali Sdn. Bhd. Sabah Operation (PCSB-SBO)...i fell very happy and comfortable...although in this two weeks not much works to do but the atmosphere is very welcoming...my manager, my supervisors and aslo other staffs are very friendly and helpful....love to be here...but sometimes bored too...well, in hse dept. nothing much to do...just reading reports and make several assessment about risks and hazards...and the routine will continue again and again....but i already requested to my supervisors that i can be attached to other dept so can gain more experience and not just sittin around doin nothing.....we'll see..maybe in february, i try to ask for attachment at technical dept.

The first activity that i attended was Accident Investigation Training. Really informative and fun too. We had lectures, and also activities in group.

completing one of the activities with cheerful faces

the best part is, i got the certificate for attending the course...yiihaa!!

all the participants have a picture together

for me, kk is a nice place to live and to get started for working life...but the living cost here is higher than other cities in peninsular malaysia...have to face it though...but i think, i start to love kk and hope that PETRONAS can assigned me to work here...well, with the organisation reconstruction...more positions are offered to fresh graduates...

besides, i want to get close with abg sham who sit next to me, in the office...he's funny and friendly...and i think he's cute too...hehehe...kak linda also very helpful and assist me to complete my tasks...mr william, my supervisor....ver sporting and always smiling...make me feel comfortable...

in this two weeks...i think kk is fun and has a lot of entertainment and interesting place to explore....by the way, i already watched 3 movies here, narnia, king kong and also the fog....hehehe....

for your info, i stay in petagas where is near putatan which is still in kota kinabalu with my other trainees who are also from UTP, syai (pechlob) and farid (wierd guy).....

p/s : syai sudah ada crush di sini, kawan adik aku lak tu, choy je...abisla pechlob

MY FEVERET SONG, RITE NOW...

Marsha AF3 - Untuk Terakhir Kali

Mencintai dirimu
Untuk yang terakhir kali ini
Lihat ku disini
Setia untuk dirimu

Kasih yang ku belai
Gugur selama-lamanya
Waktu yang memisah
Menghukum luka yang lama terpendam

Kesuraman yang telah menjelma
Dihujani sedihku
Melaratkan kenangan bersama
Diakhir pemergian dirimu

Tinggallah aku menanti
Mimpi yang indah kan mewarnai hati
Hanyalah dirimu yang bertakhta dijiwaku dulu
Tak rela meninggal suci kasihmu itu
Bersemadi cinta ku di sini
Biar mekar mengharumi
Andai ada masa kan ku temu... kasih...


walaupun suara marsha tak sedap mana but lagu ni, aku suka...aku sanggup dgr lagu ni dr pagi ke petang, dr petang ke malam, dan dari malam ke pagi esoknya pulak...hehehe

FINAL EXAM JUST AROUND THE CORNER

well, first of all, i want to wish SELAMAT HARI RAYA & MAAF ZAHIR BATIN to all of u...hope u enjoy this Hari Raya and have fun with it...

final exam comes again, 14th november 2005...just two more days. Its the scariest days of my life in every semester. Still preparing for the exam and got so much things to cover, damn!! i dont like exam...make me feel sick and drive me carzy but what can i do..this is my life, for the time being...being a student means that u have to bear with a lot of exam.

my first paper is on the first day of the exam. Vector calculus is going to be the first paper. I hate math but i have to learn. it a must for engineering student, rite ? but, vector is not really difficult compare to differential equations. Thank God, i passed that paper after repeat it for 4 times!!! how stupid , i am...huhuhu

but, itu citer lama, forget about differential equations. now, must focus to this vector. with not so good coursework mark, i think i cant get an A for this subject...but i must try my best, to get at least B for this subject...if i get better than that, i'm very grateful to HIM.

have to study rite now, laters..

PARTY BERBUKA PUASA

seronoknya ari ni.....kitorg buat party berbuka puasa...tadi, lepas pergi bank, trus ke fairmat utk beli barang2 masakan....aku kena buat puding honey dew ngan mangga. org lain, kena buat benda lain pulak...balik je dr bank, trus aku masak puding tu, pastu simpan dlm peti ais....bila dah kol 5 petang...kitorg pergi beli nasi kat kafe bawah hostel ni, sebab menu hari ni is nasi goreng....so, dah siap beli nasi, trus berkumpul di common room village 5B.

apa lagi, trus prepare la...loma ngan lela kena masak nasi goreng tu, before that diorg kena goreng telur dulu....pastu, aku ngan shai buat air, air nata de coco dan si pisah pulak masak cucur lemak manis yg ditaja oleh adabi.

tgk sronok2 masak guna hot plate...sah2la kena bergossip dgn citer2 hot terkini...tak sedar pun dah waktu buka puasa...apa lagi, semua org melantak la...abis semua, licin...kenyang sampai tak larat nak jalan....sahur jap lagi pun, nak masak2 jugak la....

best jugak main masak2 ni...dapat have fun sama2, takyah nak ke karaoke, atau tgk midnite movie...main masak2 ni pun enjoy gak, dpt together gether..

kalo dapat masak benda2 ni, sure meriah lagi...

DOIN NOTHING, TODAY

lot work have to be done but still doin nothing....what a lazy person i am...this damn graphs make me sick...so many datas need to be calculated and i just done half of it....

anyway, take a break with new eps of American Next Top Model Cycle 5!!! just watched the 6th eps...so sad Coryn was eliminated. i like her but maybe she got carried away, dealing with Lisa...damn that bitch!!! i hate Lisa but i have to accept that she always gave the best picture for every photoshoot....

still got time, rite ? i have to watch this new eps of Survivor Season 11, cannot wait for it....in this 5th eps,Yaxha defeated Nakum. Hey, Jamie!!! what's up...ur so slow and i am very dissappointed with u....poor stephanie...i hope she can stay longer in this game....in the imunity challenge, Nakum won and Yaxha had to face tribal council which end up, Blake was voted out!!! i like Blake. he's a sweet guy and he also tuff and strong, they picked the wrong person to be voted out...better for them to vote out that NFL player....damn!!!



now time to study and finished my assignment...adios

NON STOP PROJECTS

HAIH!!! dah abis satu project, ada lagi project lain plak dah sedia menunggu....skrg ni ada 2 projects...satu project petroleum exploration...haih pening kepala nak baca graph2 ni...kena interpret these logging and determine wether that well have oil or not...sound easy but very tedious...have to calculate one by one and refer to other graphs for answer...but that's not the exact answer yet, coz need to use that values and substitute in some equations, after that, u will the get the answer....

2nd project is about engineers in society...the proposal for the project have been approved by the lecturer and we chosed Biomass in Malaysia as our case study. This project is alot easier than the first one. Discussing about the ethics, management, development, OSHA, health & safety aspects and also the benefits and effects of the project to the civillians and environment. Both of the projects have to be submitted by this coming friday, 28th october and the presentation is after raya

but, malas sungguh nak buat...word malas tu susah sgt nak buang...bulan puasa ni, asyik nak tido je, kerja makan tido makan tido...bertambah naik la badan aku pasni...tu arr, skrg ni takleh nak malas dah...kena pastikan semua projects have to be completed by this coming wednesday...yes, kena bersungguh2...tp nak tido dulu la...

HATE THAT COMPUTER GAMES

I love to play computer games but rite now...i dont have time to play the games...my hard disk also full and cant even install a new computer game which requires more than 1 gb per game...but its ok, i still can play game that dont require too much space...such as pokemon and other gba games that can be played using pc (i'm childish guy, rite ?)...anyway, i dedicated my hard disk for mp3s and video clips...i have more than 60gb which i reserved for them...that's why i cant even install a game. i have 80gb hard disk only. 20gb for software and other for academic stuff.

but sometimes i hate computer games. computer games byk membawa masalah drpd keseronokan, lebih2 lagi..if u have housemates who love to play computer games so much. its ok for me if they want to play it, i dont care but sometime its irritate me when they like to shout to each other, althou they play the games with their own pc and in their own room....so, satu umah bising ngan pekikan dan jeritan..."ATTACK!!! FIGHT!!! KEPUNG, JAGA DEFENSE TU!!!" why they have to shout to each other ? just play the game, tak boleh ke ?

but i still can consider it coz i also listen to my mp3s with higher volume...yeah, i have to play it loud coz i cant even listen to it...so if they play the games loudly, i play my mp3s louder....they dont want to use headphone ?? what for ?? if u have a speaker which can produce sound like ur in cinema...no need to use headphone...

its really annoy me, when i want to study and concentrate on my academic works...it really distract me....i cant even understand what i have read because of the noisiness...it seem like they dont have any other thing to do other than play computer games...but, what can i say ? they're my housemates and i have to bear with it la....

haih...one more sem to go...then, i'm done with it...

kalo aku geram2 ni, ada aku sepit jugak karang!!!

I LOVE TO BE LOVED

Sudah agak lama, aku tak merasai perasaan cinta dan mencintai....but its just only a statement..nothing really happen in my life actually...only someone new, who came to my life and gimme this feeling...feeling which i want it so bad...loved and to be loved...but its not real love just temporary, in other words, one nite stand (could i consider it as love ?)

i have been single for 4 years and still single rite now, maybe single for 1 more year. its been busy lately and i dont have time for love...this feeling just fade away along with my hectic days...but come this person that remind me about that feeling that i miss so much....u know, perasaan ingin disayangi dan menyayangi...and pampered with love...manja2, gurau senda with someone that u like....honestly, that person is not my type and i'll never pick that person to be my partner...but i dont know why...i just play along with this "game" and i think i like it. maybe because i'm a desperate guy that really need someone to be with...i try to hide this desire but i cannot lie to myself...deep down inside i really miss a touch that will accompany me, calm me and make love to me....and accidentally that person came and fulfill my desire.

i know, that person like me and love to be with me but i cannot accept that person as special one...i think, its rude to say that person only a "tempat persinggahan" but i did do that to that person and i feel really guilty about it....i know, that i'm wrong but i cannot help it...i really need that feeling...i really want to love somebody and loved by somebody....i feel so sorry for that person.....and i feel sorry for myself too....i think, i have to do something and i dont want to let that person putting any hope on me...this is not gonna work out. i'm sorry that i dont love u and i cant love u...but i can play along with this "love game" if u still want me to be ur "partner" but i cant be ur lover...

PRE EDX

YESS!!!! pre edx dah pun berlalu. lega rasanya, mcm dah abis satu burden...anyway, i dont evet get any spot to the edx (engineering desogn exhibition), although i feel quite dissappointed but its ok...i have done my best but other contestants were much better than me and they deserved it...i'm also happy with my friends who are under same supervisor, can go through the final...but it doesnt mean that i cannot score A for this final year project....maybe i'm doing well in the poster presentation and i think my poster is too simple and maybe not too attractive for the judges...well, benda dah berlaku tak perlu disesalkan...i hope i still can get an A for this project based on my final report and oral presentation...but damn betul la!!!! final report nak submit lagi 2 minggu tp experiments tak habis2 lagi buat...asyik ada problems ngan equipment je...tensen betul..apalah aku nak tulis dlm report tu nnt...i have two experiments that i must run but only one experiments was completed. hope, this coming Monday, i can finish all the experiments and then work on the final report....

final exam just around the corner!!!!the exam will start on 14th november and i have my first paper on first day exam...i'm so lucky!!!! and the paper is math...i really hate math but this vector calculus is not really difficult as compared to differential equations which i hate the most (god damn it!!! i have to repeat that paper more than one!!!) my aim is 3 pointer this semester!!!! hope can reach it and i can continue my scholarship with PETRONAS. poor me...but no need to feel sorry coz its my own fault. sapa suruh tak belajar rajin2!!!yes, dah siap ni. jom kita ke library. STUDY!!!

haih tak sampai sebulan pun nak final exam ni...tapi still relAx2 je, main2...mmg tak reti nak insaf...ni pun still ada masa nak tulis2 blog ni...bukan apa, dah lama tak update...rasa jeles gak tgk blog org lain yg femes dan ramai org baca...tp tak kisahla...sbb blog ni pun aku just tulis for fun je...tadela nak jd femes ke apa...susah pulak nnt, tak pasal2 masuk mastika (bodoh betul la mastika tu, dah tade isu lain ke nak tulis...asyik2 isu pasal sex je...nampak sgt dah tade idea...sgt murahan...haih, dah jd downgrade ke skrg ni ? aku dulu peminat setia mastika...tp sejak isu2 ntah apa2 kat mastika ni..aku rs muak nak baca..baik mastika tukar nama lain je...pastu cover majalah tu, letak gambar org beromen...dah balik2 isu tu je nak tulis)

itu mmg aku tak paham...kenapa nak sibuk2 jgn hal tepi kain org ? mmg itu tanggungjawab bersama cegah maksiat...betul la tu...tp takkanla sampai personal blog dalam internet pun nak jd mangsa sasaran ? internet ni kan free, bebas utk org tulis apa pun....dah mmg camtu lifestyle diorg, dan itu yg diorg nak tulis...yg mastika sibuk2 ni kenapa la ? nampak sgt, dok kat opis tu...dok surf blog2 org..pastu buat ulasan, ulasan bagus2 takpe...ni siap kutuk2....blog tu kan, mcm diari online...suka ati diorg la...kalo tak suka baca, takyah baca...ni tak, nak condem diorg plak...aku sgt tak puas hati..aku tau bukan aku yg terlibat but aku rs mcm tak adil kan ?? org2 tu tulis blog utk kwn2 dia baca...nak share thoughts ngan org2 yg dpt menerima dan memahami...yg diorg totally "outsiders" tp saja nak buat havoc tu, kenapa ? mcm masuk rumah org, tapi buat kurang ajar...aku lebih mastika yg lama, org2 lama...org baru tu, sgt ntah hapa2, nak glemer je lebih...

kenapa aku bebel psl mastika ni ? tade efek pun kat aku apa yg mastika buat tu...tapi aku rasa rugila, sbb my mom still beli majalah tu utk family...aku pulak rasa malu nak baca mastika tu dpn family...sbb dah nampak macam majalah explicit...cuma elok sikit je, sbb ada ruangan2 renungan agama, kalo tak...sama je mcm majalah sampah yg lain...baik i ask my mom, stop buying mastika but gimme that money for me to buy men's health ataupun maxit (magazine psl computer) lagi byk faedahnya....leh la aku dpt six pack dan jadi mahir psl kompueter....

kesimpulannya, takyala bazir duit beli magazine bhs melayu ni...suka sgt tulis benda ntah hapa2....lebih baik aku beli majalah rasa (majalah pasal masakan) atau majalah anjung seri...leh gak aku masak2 sambil hias rumah...dan aku tak rasa malu nak hadiahkan majalah an-nur kat mak dan adik pompuan aku...

kalau posing maut mcm Toccara ni, macam mana ? masuk Mastika gak ke ? Aku suka dia, confident and comfortable with herself

SELAMAT BERPUASA

SELAMAT BERPUASA DIUCAPKAN KEPADA SEMUA...perbanyakkan ibadat semoga bertambah pahala yg dikumpul dan termasuk dalam golongan orang2 yang bertakwa

puasa, puasa jugak....aurat kena jaga :)

BUSY WEEK

penatnya minggu ni...busy sungguh!!! tak cukup tido, tak cukup makan, tak cukup rehat....dgn makan duromine ni lagi....aku jd cam tak keruan, resah gelisah je memanjang...badan letih nak tido tp mata tak mau pejam....memang mengganggu emosi betulla...

baru je lepas abis meeting ngan supervisor...rupanya, byk lagi yg aku kena buat...nak buat exp esok, tapi satu haram aku tak paham...supervisor tanya aku mcm2, aku buat muka blur dan angguk je apa dia tanya...dahla budak2 ni soh aku buat dulu exp...nampak sgt motif!!!! kalo aku buat dulu, tak jd ke apa...so, diorg selamat la...last2 aku ni jd batch mark...mmg licik...

test mlm ni, test jumaat ptg...cuti midsem takleh nak balik sbb nak siapkan exp sbb nak anta report the first day after midsem break...baru igt nak jalan2 cr jodoh midsem ni...nampaknya, aku berkepit ngan fyp jela....midsem break ni....takpe, berkorban..nnt leh siap awal2, aku leh concentrate kat benda lain...
dahla internet slow like snail, cam haram...donlod notes pun, dua jam tak abis lg...mmg like snails (kena ada s sbb teramat manyak slow)......

nak mkn pun tade selera, berkesan gak duromine ni...tapi, tekak aku rs loya dan pahit semacam je...rasa mcm ada gigi berulat dlm mulut...nafsu nak mkn ada tp bila nak telan rs tak best..harap2 leh jd slim river dlm masa sebulan...kalo tak, baik balut badan ngan carpet je, pegi kelas

apa kena aku ni, membebel , merepek2 ni...ni mesti sbb side effect duromine ni...cam sial la duromine ni, tak psl2 rs nak emo je....to kalo leh jd cam colin farrel ok, je tiap hari mkn duromine

BERJEREBU....

hi, bgn awal aku hari ni....1st time weekend bangun awal....cuaca pun mendung je...cam nak hujan ribut petir je..tp hujan pun tak turun2 lagi...cuma mcm baru nak hujan....tapi, sebab jerebu ni...hujan dia pun bau asap...susah betul, skrg ni....lepas satu2, bala dtg...lepas gemba bumi, jerebu plak...raja fahd pun dah mati...betul ke ramalan2 tu ek ? kalo betul, nampak sgt kiamat dah dekat kan ? hai, amal ibadat aku pun tak cukup lagi...harap2, kiamat lambat lagi la...tak berlaku dlm zaman ni....bila baca, cerita pasal kiamat, aku rs takut sgt...masa tu, ntah apa yg jd kat kita pun..aku tak tau....takut aku nak imagine psl kiamat ni....but we have to believe it...rukun iman yg 6 tu....

tp, jerebu ni mmg menyusahkan kita....ramia org selesema, batuk2, sbb jerebu...pastu cuaca pun rasa panas je, yelah, jerebu ni menyebabkan cahaya matahari tak dpt dipantulkan semual ke angkasa ngan baik...jerebu ni memerangkap cahaya matahari dan setereusnya, pemerangkapan haba...tula, cuaca mendung tp sgt panas dan berbahang di siang hari....mlm pulak, sejuk bukan baik...menggigil2 aku tido...jgn lps ni ada catuan air kat utp ni dahla....dahla jerebu, hujan pulak tak turun, empangan pun kering....

so, bgn awal ni pun...sbb ada function kat ipoh mlm ni....so nak kena gi awal2 ke sana...sbb ada rehearsal tgh hari ni....event apa ? nnt lps ni aku citer...nak mandi dulu...dah lambat ni...igt sempat nak tulis2 sikit...tak prasan dah lambat....jaa ne

PRELIMINARY REPORT !!! DAH LEGA...

Akhirnya!!!! siap jugak preliminary report aku ni...lebih seminggu aku buat reportni, tak siap2...pagi tadi, kol 6.30 pagi baru siap...haih, aku igt amik fyrp ni tadela susah mana....rupa2nya, susah gak...byk kerja nak kena buat...aku dah boleh menaip sambil tutup mata, sbb dah terlalu mengantuk....mujurla, dalam kol 5 pagi tadi, hujan turun membasahi bumi UTP, tapi disebabkan jerebu...hujan tu bau cam asap...pening kepala...terpaksa aku tutup tingkap...

sat lagi, aku nak anta report ni kat supervisor....i've done my best...kalo ada error ke apa ke, takpela...nnt biar supervisor aku tu, check dan kalo dia suruh aku repair, aku repair jela...nak tau apa topik fyrp aku ? for chemical engineering students sure rasa senang je kan....The title for the project is "Effect of Clay on Barrier, Thermal and Mechanical Properties of High Density Polyethylene"...i know, some of you will think this project is quite easy...but for me, an average student, this topic is quite difficult...with zero knowledge about thermoplastics and elastomers; in the same time...i havent gone for industrial training yet...so, all of this thing is quite new for me...for the first time, in my life....i have to borrow so many books from the library, in order to complete this project....never mind...i've to do that actually, to get deeper knowledge about this polyethylene...

dah settle satu perkara, but i've many more things to do...dan byk lagi yg tak selesai...got quizzes next week, assignments, and the important event is, i will be singing during the convocation....i'm in the choir team!!!! its a special convocation for me anyway coz, i can sing for my friends, yg graduating this year...i know, its so sad to watch their backs and cannot join them to accept the scroll together...but i'm still happy that i can sing for them with all of my heart....i know, my time will come soon but at that time...i dont have anyone to celebrate my convocation...dont have friends to share the joy...but its ok, just a small thing...nothing to regret...but for me, this convocation...i think this is the only the time that i can gather with my friends and i could watch them, walk on the stage and accept their scroll (wanna cry like now)...i miss so much...the moments that we left behind....

A NEW DAY HAS COME

hi, its been so long that i dont write anything in this blog....kinda bz in this 2,3 weeks....well, now i'm back...

this is the 3rd since i've been registered for new semester...i'm so lucky that i'm survive last semester and can continue my study here, and blessful that i got good pointer altho not 3 pointer but this is the highest pointer that i got for the time being....i agree with my frens, "jika berusaha pasti berjaya"...but maybe i have to put more effort to earn better grades...

this semester, only taking 5 subjects and i think i have so much time to prepare, study and do my research for my final year project...have started the research but its still not enuff and need to submit the preliminary report next wednesday...i thought, fyrp is easy but it really take o lot of work and effort and obviously you must be hardworking...if ur lazy, ur so doom!! still researching for info and i've to admit that i'm bit lazy nowadays...maybe..and like to postpone all the works to the last minute...this is really a bad habit that i cant really cast aside...huh!! no no, wake up and change.....i try...

overall, i'm happy that i can meet my frens once again...have not so new roomate, mahat...and glad that i'll be going for industrial training next semester...cannot wait for that..i really want that...coz i think, i need to get out from UTP and breathe some fresh air from new environment...

to acai and others in KL, sorry that i cant visit you for the time being...since the appeal for the scholarship extension still in kiv...and i dont have budget to afford my trip to KL...u know, my dad also cut my elaun and i couldn't ask for more...maybe this time i've to bear with it and try to get life moving...my dad said that i've to learn the hardship in finding money...and i understand coz he have 4 more childs to raise up and 3 of them are in teh university rite now....but, when Petronas approve my appeal...and they continue the sponsorship...i'll go to KL, dont worry..i'll be there...this is a promise...furthermore, we didnt see each other for a quite long time...

"Have You Ever?"

"Have You Ever?"

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you into my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep

this is my favourite song rite now...i really like it..listen to it everynight and everyday...this song really shows what i feel rite now...brandy's voice really suit with this song..so soulful...nothing interesing to write rite now, but this lyric, conclude what i've faced in past 2 weeks...have you ever ? ye, i have but the happiness is too far away....

3 SERENTAK !!!!

hi everyone ? how are u today ? i'm okay here...last night, picked up my dad at airport, he just got back from kota kinabalu...he got work there...ala2, pasal hal maktab perguruan ni...aku tak tau sgt...yg aku tau kursus pasal kerja...but that is not the main story.....

the main story is...adik beradik aku dah dpt tawaran ke ipt...but apa yg pelik kan ? semua org dpt...cuma yg menggembirakan is, 3 adik-adik aku, dpt offer ke ipt serentak...huyooo, aku tak taula sama ada ni happy news or bad news...but yg pasti, kopakla ayah aku bulan ni...3 org anak sekali, tak campur aku lagi (nak gak duit belanja, skolar dah kering...hehehe)

adik aku no2, tak dpt mana ipta2...but he still got offer ke University Kuala Lumpur, cawangan Alor Gajah...mean that, he got place at ipts (thank God, not UTP)...adik aku ni dah amik diploma, so nak sambung degree kat situ la...course science computer and networking...tp bila da ipts ni, sure belanja lebih...ba tu aku taknak komen, sbb aku pun ipts....

the only daughter in family; adik aku no3, dpt masuk UUM...mintak UPSI tapi dpt UUM, course keusahawanan (course apa tu ?)...okla tu, drpd tak dpt langsung...but my mom try her best to make sure that my sister can get in...but i think harapan tipis la..coz too many student yg result much more better than my sis..but its ok la...at least, she got her place at UUM, kalo nak dibandingkan ngan org tak dt offer langsung...ni pun guna result STPM...

the 4th sibling, got an offer from UMS...lagi jauh...oversea tu!!! ahahah...terpaksala dia separate ngan makwe dia...makwe dia dpt UTM je...nak engineering tp dpt course sains (fizik dan elektronik)...okla tu...dekat2...boleh je dpt keja nnt..my mom just booked the ticket for her and my bro...they have to go there on 2nd july....my bro form matrix...and i think its okla..coz he just average...so, dpt tmpt kat ipta ni...such a release..but UMS dah ckp awal2...bawak RM2000 sbg pendaftaran...byk nye.....

lagi menariknya...semua kena pergi mendaftar on 3rd july...ahahah, macam mana tu ? sorg nak ke sabah, sorg ke melaka dan sorg ke kedah...semuanya hujung2 dunia...my dad have a plan...muy mom need to go to sabah with my bro...i need to take my sis to kedah and he will go to melaka to register my other bro...semuanya ada task....so, tinggal la my youngest bro, at home alone...he still in his form5 and will be taking SPM this year....to make things more interesting...he had been choosen to participate in PLKN for next year intake...seem like..next year...no one will be at home...only my mom and my dad will be staying at home....

me ? still not finish my study...have to xtend...ahahah, this thing happen becoz of my foolishness...what to do, thing happened already...so i try to struggle in 3 more semester to finish it....then starting to find a job....i have to

i think, this is a blessing from God...all my bros and sis got their place at ipt...maybe my dad have to suffer a lil bit...coz he have 4 childs at university at the same time (i suppose to complete my study this year...huhu) but i think...that what parents are for...this is their responsibility.....and some kind of investment in future...hope that all my bros and sis will success in thir study...coz this is their first step to face the real world...

ANNOUNCEMENT !!!

just a reminder...i had already update my photo album...so, u can click the link and see it for urself...cannot upload too many pictures, coz the connection is too slow, u know...dial up only... :P

MY FAVOURITE SONGS, AT THIS TIME

selepas menonton movie TENTANG DIA, aku terus suka gan theme's song of the film...very touching...and the melody really make me feel sad, spt aku memahami rintihan org yg bercinta...nak dgr lagu tu...carila sendiri...but i will wrote doWn the lyric..really meaningful...

MELLY GOESLOW & KRIS DAYANTI
CINTA

Menatap jalan yang menjauh
Tentukan arah yg ku mau
Tempatkan aku pada satu
Peristiwa yang membuat hati lara

Di dekat engkau aku tenang
Sendu matamu penuh tanya
Misteri hidup akankah menghilang
Dan bahagia di akhir cerita

Cinta tegarkan hatiku
Tak mau sesuatu merenggut engkau
Naluriku berkata
Tak ingin terulang lagi
Kehilangan cinta hati
Bagai raga tak bernyawa

Aku junjung petuamu
Cintai dia yang mencintaiku
Hati yang dulu belayar
Kini telah menepi
Bukankah hidup kita
Akhirnya harus bahagia

Cinta
Biar saja ada
Yang terjadi biar saja terjadi
Bagai manapun hidup
Memang hanya cerita
Cerita tentang meninggalkan dengan ditinggalkan
Cinta.....

at this time...aku suka gak ngan lagu Destiny's Child...their 3rd single...form their latest album; Fullfilled...Cater 2 U is a love song that i really like...the lyrics catched my heart and hope that thing will happen to me and i haveenuff time to do all that thing to my beloved one...

Destiny's Child
Cater 2 U

[Verse 1 Beyonce]
Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
Don't Know If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter

Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie You Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn My Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]
Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man;
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You

[Verse 2 Kelly]
Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)
No Other Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit

I Promise You (Promise You)
I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]

[Bridge Michelle]
I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And Downs (Ups And Downs)
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To You
Cause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My Man
Your Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)
The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater To My Man

[Chorus Out]

skrg ni, aku dgr 2 lagu ni...berulang2, dr pagi sampai ke petang...dr petang sampai ke malam dan dr mlm sampailah pagi esknya pulak....mmg best la lagu ni...dgr lagu ni, mulalah aku berangan2... :P bestnya kalo ada someone yg truly, deeply and reall love me...cannot wait for that moment...i will not stop to search for it

TENTANG DIA, TENTANG CINTA

yesterday, i watched 5 movies, non-stop...and rite now, i think, Tentang Dia is the best movie among others....Tentang Dia is a movie from Indonesia...i like the movie...although, stereotype issue had been raised in the movie but it had been nicely elabotared....i think this movie is different from other lovey dovey movie becoz it has its own strentgh and played with the emotion of the characters....

love is the main subject of this movie...Gadis who had lost her faith in love when her boyfriend betrayed their love by having affair with her best friend. Randu, who really like Gadis tried his best to win Gadis's heart but Gadis just cold towards him. He tried everything he could, to cheer up Gadis but nothing could change Gadis, until, one day, Gadis accidentally met Rudi, and everything changed. Rudi treat her right and she feel safe and happier when Rudi besides her. Rudi always comfort her, make her smile and protect her form anyone who want to harm or hurt her heart anymore...Gadis fell in love with Rudi but Rudi is not a lesbian coz she only accept Gadis as her own sister (if Rudi a lesbian, i think..she will accept Gadis, as her lover) Gadis feel depressed coz she feel like she had been cheated...one nite, Rudi involved in accident and the truth is revealed and Gadis know that her heart only belongs to Randu.

So emotional, i feel like crying...especially at the last scene of the movie...jika sudah berputus asa dengan cinta, kekeliruan akan berlaku tanpa kita sedari...salah memilih insan yang patut ditaburkan cinta...human is a creature that full of desperation, full of confusion, full of emotion that they; themselves cannot understand what they really want...but desperation will lead to a success in love...love is a very complicated feeling.

why we have to let the past keep on lingering in our live...especially the sad ones ? aku sendiri tak paham. but, mmg betul, sekali terluka dalam cinta, pasti susah untuk mencari penawarnya (ayat ini hanya utk mereka yg percayakan cinta). cinta itu mistik, misteri dan juga berbahaya....hanya mereka yang sanggup memperjudikan hidup dengan cinta, mampu untuk mengharungi dugaan cinta tetapi, bila sudah di alam cinta, semuanya pasti indah belaka....

well, aku pernah berada di alam cinta...its so sweet and tender...but cinta itu tidak kekal....tidak mungkin kekal...saat itu, aku akan rasakan aku adalah insan yang paling malang di dunia kerana gagal dalam bercinta...semua hanyala tipu belaka...i cried and cried and keep on thinking; what i've done ? why i have to deserve this ? i'm so loyal and honest and believe in love but u just said that u dont love me anymore, u dont believe in our love...kau tidak tahu, betapa kecewanya aku ketika itu....but i just smile and pretend that nothing happened...u know, deep in my heart...i cried so loud coz it really hurt...i dont understand and i dont want to understand anything coz there is nothing to understand....

as time goes by, aku makin dapat terima hakikat...aku tidak lagi menyalahkan dia, tidak sama sekali bahkan aku berterima kasih kerana dia telah memberikan aku peluang untuk merasai berapa manisnya cinta...tanpanya, mungkin aku buta tentang cinta dan tidak mengerti apakah maksudnya cinta....memori aku dan dia...tetap kusemat kemas dalam ingatanku...bagiku, itula satu satunya hartaku yang paling berharga....tiada galang gantinya...mungkin jodohku tidak panjang dengannya...terlalu mentah untuk menilai sesuatu yang berharga...terlalu muda untuk mengerti erti cinta...kabur dalam pengertian cinta itu sendiri...namun kuhargai apa yang telah dia lakukan, aku hargai segala perasaannya terhadapku dulu...paling tidak, hatinya pernah singgah di hatiku dan membahagiakanku...aku tetap tidak akan melupakanmu walau apa pun yang terjadi, walau hati ini telah dimilikki oleh insan lain kerana engkaulah yang pertama membawa ku ke dunia cinta...

mungkin orang akan kata aku bodoh kerana percayakan cinta namun bagiku cintalah yang menyebabkan aku bahagia...i still believe in love and know that the right person will love me and care for me...mungkin cinta ini tidak kekal namun aku tidak peduli...akan aku usahakan sedaya upayaku untuk membolehkannya bertahan...selama yang mungkin...

TRIP TO KL

my dad, mum and i went to the airport...about 10am....we arrived there almost 11am... after check in the ticket...we just sat on the bench, waiting for an announcement for boarding...the flight is at 1145am, but the boarding is at 30 minutes earlier...my dad, read the newspaper while my mum adn i, talkin to each other...nah, its time for boarding...well, dad good bye....have fun with ur meeting at kl...its not me or my mum who were going but it was my dad...he had to go there for his meeting that going to be held at putrajaya....have fun, dad!!

i bought myself some chocolates...i really love chocolates but at the airport, the chocolates were very expensive, i spent RM20 for only 20 gram of it...i dont care...coz i love chocolate very much

BELI KERETA BARU!!

yesterday, my mom and i went to the EON centre, kota bharu branch to take a look at brand new car from proton, proton savvy...actually my father asked my mom and i to make a second survey, which he already done that 2 days ago....the car is very beautiful, classy and sporty...i really like it...but this car is not for me...its the 2nd car for our family since my brother had involved in an accident and the nissan, is in a condition that cannot be used again unless the car is repaired. the spare part which had already ordered still not arrived and have to wait for soo long...so, my dad, really need 2nd car, and he gonna buy this savvy....

so, after my mom and i have a look around....and she agreed to book this car 1st...for booking, we have to pay RM500...and my mom paid fr the car...and today , we gonna go there once again to settle down everything....from down payment up to the loan....i'm very happy...although the car is not belong to me...at least, our family has a new car....

but my dad said that, if anyone wanna that car, the person shud continue to pay the car coz my dad choose 9 years paybcak plan...and my dad gonna be retire in 5 years from now....my mom said that phrase to me...so i think that's a hint for me that the car gonna belong to me (i hope so) but, rite now....i'm still studying...have 3 more semester...hope i can get a job witrh goog salary to pay this car....cannot wait to complete my study , get a job and have car...

BERCUTI DI KAMPUNG

spent 3 days at kampung...kampung serom3, muar, johor...speant almost a day in the journey....now, i'm here, back again at my house, in kota bhrau kelantan....so bored bila balik kampung kat johor...kampung ni, sblh mak aku...nenek aku tu dah la kuat membebel and bila bercakap je...sure satu umah leh dengar...kuat tak kuat nye dia berckp...nak tido siang pun takleh....tp sbb mak aku nak balik jugak, dan aku pun tade apa nak buat kat umah ni, aku ikutla mak aku balik kampung...best jugak sbb masa nila, aku leh mintak mcm2 ngan ayah aku...ayah aku kalo drive balik kampung...suka berenti2 minum...byk kali pulak tu...apa lagi, masa ni la nak pau ayah aku...mintak belanja best, kdg2 ayah aku plak offer masa aku taknak...tp sbb org dah offer, trus aku ckp nak...

1st stop kat setiu, ayah aku ikut jalan pantai...sure la byk org jual keropok lekor dan segala mala mcm barang2 kering....spt ikan, sotong, dan mcm2 lagi yg dikeringkan...dah ayah aku berenti kat satu kedai ni, dan aku apa lagi, trus order sotong goreng tepung, aku amik yg plg besar...sedapnya....ingat nak mkn 10 ekpr, tp rs cam melampau la plak....so aku berwasatiah, mkn sekor je....dan begitulah strusnya, asal ayah aku berenti utk minum, atau rehat...aku sure berenti utk melantak...ahahahah...

mula2 cadang nak dok dlm 4 hari...tp sbb nak settlekan permohonan adik aku ke UPSI, kenala balik awal...so balik awal...tp ok gak, sbb aku bosan gila kat kampung, tade tv, radio atau pun komputer(nenek aku tak reti pun psl komputer)...semua radio ngan tv ada dlm bilik dia...aku mls nak tgk kat bilik dia...rs tak best plak...anyay, dah balik umah sendiri...home sweet home

MY COMPUTER IS MY BEST FRIEND

rite now...in this holiday mood...its getting bored when u doin nothing other than sleeping and eating. this time, no part time job for me coz i'm so lazy to wake up early and go to work....anyway, just woke up and having my breakfast...in the mean time...my mother having her lunch already....ahahah....i love sleeping coz it make me feel calm and free....

so i have to do something...why dont i switch oln my computer and watch some movies...anyway...i already finished watching an anime series...its title is MAI HIME....its about 12 ladies who have power that can save the world from being demolished by evil power (as usual, stereotype anime but i love it, coz they have girls who have magical power)...they fight with monsters with thier magical powers and also with their magical weapons...and they have their own guardian angels that help them during the fight...unfortunately, there is one HIME (means princess in english) that become evil and want to kill other HIME in order to gain more power...as usual, Mai HIME, the strongest HIME defeated her....there is a twist in the anime...actually, there is one male HIME...this is the real evil....all the HIME must fight with themselves in order to find the most powerful HIME, who is going to be the wife of the male HIME...this anime really make me feel sad coz when each of the HIME was defeated...the person that is very closed to the HIME (in other words, the loved one) will die...as well as the guardian angel...at last, only Mai HIME left behind....but she didnt want to be the wife so she got into a battle wih her "future husband"....well, the good will win and this is the conclusion of this anime...you must it...coz this anime is very interesting and full with emotion and sadness and also confusion about love...

not only that...i also spent my time watching new series; LOST. very adventuruos and thriller series....sadly i dont have the last eps of the series coz, i come home too early and didnt have time to download the eps in the network....sometimes, this series make me scared and sometimes make me wonder, who is the real villain ? what really happened in last 16 years ? is there really a monster on the island ? cannot wait to watch the last eps....but i'm sure this series will have its 2nd season....sigh

right now, i'm watching a new series; NUMBERS....its like CSI series but all the problems or case need to solve by mathematical method...quite interesting series although sometimes i get a headache with all the equations (u know, mathematic is not my favourite subject)....but u will surprised how they predict human behaviour by using math, although sometimes the prediction is wrong (yeah, human is unpredictable) but it quite accurate....by doing math, they can capture the murderer, they can predict where will be the next targer for bank robbery and who is the next victim...very genius....i never realize that by doing some math problem u can catch a criminal....

after i finish this series...i'm going to watch THE O.C, 2nd season...after that...i will open some notes and book to start my very own study during this holiday season :P

HAVING FUN WITH MY BROTHER

it really great to come back home...well, just woke up this morning and as usual, i woke up late...yeah, nothing to worry coz no class, no tutorial and no assignment to think about...its holiday man!!! and i'm happy to be at home...almost 6 months i'm in UTP and since that time..not a single day i went back home...rite now, i'm at home in my very own room!!! i love my room, my locker and obviously my bed...queen size bed...

just now, my youngest brother and i went to the backyard to have some fun...do u want to know what is it ? both of us, eating longan under the longan tree...yes, mmg ada pokok longan kat belakang umah ni...and pokok tu, betul2 belakang bilik aku...this is the 1st time, pokok tu berbuah...i have waited for a very long time for this...the seller said this tree going to bear fruits only in three month but yet we have to wait almost five years to make it happen...i am so happy and i cannot wait anymore...i asked my brother to bring the ladder to get the longans...well, pokok ni tadela tinggi sangat ada je buah kat dahan2 yg rendah2...tapi mana buah yg masak, dah di makan dulu...dah tade buah yg masak kat dahan yg rendah...so we have to climb up to get the ripe on....

its so juicy....i love it...i think..we both like squirrels...eating the fruits on the tree...well, is worth to wait...now the patience is paid off....i can see the tree from my window...its so green and yet the longans so delicious and juicy...when i feel like eating, i just go under the tree and mula la petik buah2 tu dan makan tanpa henti sampaila dah rasa puas....

now, i'm waiting for the duku tree to bear its fruits....for the mango tree and pomelo tree...i have to say sorry...coz i had enuff of you....dah puas dah makan mangga ngan limau bali...lepas ni la plak...forget to say...rambutan pun tgh berbuah...tunggu masa je nak masak....its so lovely...

bila dah kerja nanti, aku nak beli satu rumah yg ada halaman luas, bolehla tanam pokok buah...and eating the fruit with my children...like have a picnic under a tree...but who is the wife ? (wife ?...help!!! it scare me when thinking about a wife...do i need a wife to have children ? )

WHATEVER...

well, someone comment about my blog....yes, i accept that comment..."the ditzy gal's blog" i appreciate that comment...although its sound negative comment for me but at least they read my blog or at least they can do...click my blog,view(scroll up till down) and they close the window....yeay!! one more person has come to my world...

i dont care wut people say about me or my blog....coz i know...this is me and i done this only for fun, to enjoy myself, to share my feelings and thoughts in my very own blog....maybe, my blog is quite boring (is it quite ?) but at least i'm writing something in my blog...right now, nothing interesting happen in my life, so i have nothing to write about...just the same old day, and it keep on repeating itself coz this is my cycle of life....i mean, right now la...

i promise, when something great or disaster things happen to me, i'll write it down...so i can share it with you but its not my point of concern coz i wanna satisfy myself so i write it down when i think i have to....but i try to do my best to make my blog more interesting...

i dont feel sad or angry with the comments...just wanna say whatever i do, i do it for myself and i want to satisfy myself...other than that, its not my concern...(am i wrote down the right thing ? i think i really care what people think about me....it just my nature... :P)

PERMULAAN CUTI SEMESTER SELAMA SATU SETENGAH BULAN

yes...skrg dah cuti.....anyway aku dah ada kat umah almost seminggu dah....patutnya, minggu ni last, exam tp paper aku abis awal...so, aku balik awal la...lagipun tade duit aku nak dok lama2 kat utp tu....dok umah ni, mkn free, umah free...letrik free, bukan free atually, bapak aku bayar la...heheheh

minggu pertama aku ok umah n i...diabiskan ngan makan, tido, tgk movie dan series kat kom ngan baca magazine...adalah sekali sekala aku tolong mak aku berkebun kat blkg umah ni...siram pokok bunga, cuci tiang2 umah, basuh pinggan, tolong masak sikit2....tu jela...aku nak kuar ke kota bharu pun mls...dok memerap je dlm umah...to be accurate, dlm bilik aku je...mls nak ke mana2....dok umah lagi best...lepak2, baring2....cuma ari ni aku rajin sikit nak update blog aku ni...so, aku guna la kom ayah aku ni..

mulai minggu depan, aku mulakan cuti semester aku ngan lebih efektif lagi...aku nak study bersungguh2...4 subjek tu...next sem aku dah amik major, aku nak study math vector calculus...eis (engineers in society), ngan 2 subjek petroleum...harap2 next sem leh score la...

nak gi mandi plak, tgh hari ni...panas la...

AMERICAN IDOL FINALE PART 2

YEAY!!! Carrie Underwood won the competition...as expected...she never been in he bottom 3 and she always performed well and she deserved to be the next American Idol. well, the girl is fantastic...country songs really her element and with the genre, she become the American Idol....i think its too late for me say this but congratulation Carrie.... i love u so much and definitely, i'll buy ur album...

DETIK DETIK AKHIR AKU DI UTP UTK SEM JAN 05

headline bunyi mcm aku dah abis belajar je...ahahah...tak abis lagi la...ada 3 sem lagi....bila la aku nak abis...i dont want to brag about that anymore...enuff already...skrg ni aku tgh buzy packing barang2 utk balik esok....memula parents aku kata nak dtg sabtu...tup tup esok plak...harusla aku kelam kabut ari ni...sbb kena packing secepat mungkin...letih la letih...aku bawak balik baju baju ngan kompueter je...sbb buku2 dan brg2 lain...aku nak tinggal je....mls aku nka angkut turun naik tangga...tp aku letak tempat tersorok la...kat mana ? rahsia (giggles)ingatkan sempat la nak berkaraoke sepam dua mlm esok....nampaknya...tangguh next sem la.... anime dan tv series serta movie2...tak burn lagi...byk benda nak burn dlm cd dan dvd ni...hayooo....kena siapkan pack ptg ni gak sbb mlm ni nak tgk tv, finale, result show american idol 4.....

laters...

AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 4 FINALE - PART 1

no more about sad thing...coz i have enjoyed myself tonite with the show...well, not really...but still can count it as an entertainment....

well, Carrie Underwood vs Bo Bice in the finale...i dont see any of these finalist have the advantage to win the competition coz both of them have 50-50 chances...both of them in the same league...compared to last season, Fantasia, obviously overpowering Diana Degarmo in the finale...and i think she overpower everyone in the competition...as expected, she did win the competition and become the 3rd American Idol. Same goes to Jaclyn Victor; our very 1st malaysian Idol who always showed us great vocal and performance and won the competition...i'm sure that she deserved that title...and overpowering Dina...and overshadow all the finalists...

Tonite, i cant make any guess, wether Carrie or Bo will win this competition...both of them, dont put all of their effort to win this competition...their performance were so bad and i think last week was a lot better than tonite....i think, they are very nervous and be too careful to avoid any mistake....

Overall, its just okay...but i dont like it...very bad songs selection and feels like they're still in the semi final...not up to the standard...i think...if the competition is between Vonzell and Constantine...i'm sure...more interesting performance will be shown tonite...anyway, only country song that can fit Carrie...and for Bo...better u stay as a rockers...

really frustrated.....i wish, for tomorrow, result show...all the finalists will give a great performance...but unfortunately...they never performed a great group performance....although i try to listen it over and over...i still cannot like it...

IF SUICIDE IS ALLOWED...

Well, exam dah abis....dan skrg ni, aku totally gunakan masa aku utk relax sepuas2nya...i think i had worn out coz of the struggle for final exam...but i think, still not enuff...i didnt put so much effort into this....and i have to try my best and put all of my energy, effort and also time next time...maybe its kinda late for me to do this but i have to do...sungguh meyedihkan bila melihat satu persatu, my best friends...graduate form this unversity and left me alone, stuck up in here...well, its not theirs fault...obviously, i'm the one who didnt realize a single thing and wanna enjoy the university's life to the fullest. as a result, i have to spend one and a half year to finish my study...i hate to say it, but i have to face it that i'm an extender....

this is the first time in my life...i feel like...i'm a totally loser...maybe i had enjoyed so much...celebrating the winning moment...and never lost one single point...but rite now, i'm losing my grip and i know now that...i'm not so lucky in academic...i keep on thinking, sometimes...why i have to face this failure ? before this, i was the best student in my primary school...scored 4A's in UPSR and i'm the one who got 9A's in my PMR and on top of that..i scored 8 agregat in my SPM...u can see the track, rite ?...i always be the best...but, i think...i started to feel unsecure when i cant be the best student for SPM in my school...why cant i be the best ? i try my best but the output is not the way i want it...then i came UTP, to change my life...try to be the best student again...but i keep on failing...maybe i'm getting stupid or people getting more clever than me...

so, i give up...i know its not the good decision but..what shud i do if the ouput still the same...no matter how hard u try, u cant get what u want...rite now...i'm just an average guy with average academic background...up to this point...i just did my best to get a result that can make me survive in this university...and i did it well...but nothing to proud of....

its good for acai, to see him graduate and have a very good job with good pay...and i'm very happy for him....same goes to katak....and this time....its katong's and huda's turn...to left me behind....and graduate soon...and they will get a job soon....i'm really happy for them....but only me, who left behind and wathing their back and they keep move on without knowing that i cant catch up anymore...i feel so inferior and if suicide is allowed...i wanna kill myself rite now...coz up to this time, i have nothing to be proud of....just wanna disappear and put an end to this...

but, apa guna menyesal skrg atas apa yg sudah berlaku...time wont rolls back and tangisan tak bererti apa2....baik teruskan hidup dgn apa yg ada...dgn kemampuan yg ada....cuba utk membaiki diri....after this i have to try very hard....i dont care if it worn me out or not...yg penting i can do something to my idiot and lazy brain, boost it up and use it to the fullest...slps saja paper yg terakhir, ari tu...aku rs sgt gembira sbb dpt menjawab ngan agak baik dan i feel like motivated once more...but its not enuff...i have to use my brain until it explode...so i get good result to make my mom and dad proud of me...i dont care if get sick, the most important thing is..i can score well and can graduate and get a good job and settle down with my own family and spending my time with my children...

EXAM SUDAH BERAKHIR

akhirnya, final exam dah abis utk aku bg sem jan05 ni...paper last ni paper core, paper cpic..tapi exam tadi bolehla buat...at least aku takkan fail la course ni... lega rasanya...mcm dah ikang satu bebanan atas bahu aku...skrg ni tunggu result je la...so, skrg ni aku lepak2 je kat bilik sambil layan anime. movies, tv series...byk tu.....skrg mata dah kuyu...kena tido la skrg...esok aku bebel lagi...

MY BIRTHDAY: 18 July (CANCER)

Your personal ruling planets are Moon and Mars.

Though your natural impulse is to boldly go where no man has gone before, something stops you. Some sense of inadequacy at times. This frustrates you and denies you the success that would otherwise be yours. You harbour grudges at times which are better expressed through the Mars influence. Even then, you may be abrupt and irritable in off-loading your frustrations.

Be more tactful and diplomatic in dealing with others and don't be too proud to ask for help.

Your lucky colours are red, maroon and scarlet and autumn tones.

Your lucky gems are red coral and garnet.

Your lucky days of the week are Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

Your lucky numbers and years of important change are 9, 18, 27, 36. 45, 54, 63, 72.

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Like the crab that represents them, people who are born under the sign of Cancer can be curious and complex creatures. Emotional security and tranquility are your overriding concerns, and you tend to feel things deeply. If you are a Cancer, you are most likely doggedly determined when it comes to getting what you want if it will promote your sense of safety. You are very conscience-ridden, which explains your strong sense of responsibility towards not only yourself but others. When you put your mind to it, you almost always achieve your goals.

People might find you extremely difficult to get to know as you can be shy and evasive in public, but you are open, loyal and protective to those close friends and family whom you trust. Perhaps because the Sun changes direction in Cancer, you can be temperamental. At times you will seem to have the greatest love for life, yet at others you can be nothing but a self-pitying mess. You can be pleasant and cheerful, or you can be egotistical and vain.

A trait which others might find annoying about you is that you are most likely passive-aggressive. This can lead to a lot of stubbornness on your part. You do, however, pay attention to details and are usually punctual, exact, and efficient. But let others beware: only you can talk yourself into something, and no-one can make you do anything that you don't want to do.

Your friends may note that you are a good listener and are emotionally sensitive. If you have a problem, such as worries about your family or money, you are more likely to brood over it than to seek solace or solutions. Deep down, all you want is to feel safe, secure, and loved. This aspect of your personality goes hand-in-hand with your strong domestic urge. There is little more that you would like than to settle down and create a home. You do well in relationships because you are a good diplomat whenever problems arise, and you never forget a single moment of anything that ever happens. Partnerships are preferable to you, as the thought of loneliness is frightening. If you can control the mood swings and tendency to retreat into your shell at the merest hint of trouble, you can do very well.

TINGGAL SATU PAPER LAGI!!!!

hmm, tadi berakhirnya satu lagi paper....ala, paper koku je pun...sem ni aku amik drama & teater...senang je...lecturer tu pun dah bg segala mcm hint, pastu...soalan2 dia pulak...just common sense...ko tak tau pun, still leh kelentong....kiranya, itulah paper last aku utk subjek koku...kiranya dah abisla koku, dah cukup 3 credit hour...

so, tinggal last paper ari isnin ni.... paper susah plak tu...paper chemical plant and instrumentation control atau short form nye... cpic....takuit siot paper ni...dah la paper ni aku amik dua kali...bukan aku fail but last sem aku amik mc, sebab skit (sakit betul2 ke atau sakit cuak ? hehehe)...so, aku kena struggle la paper ni...kena score at least dpt b+. mampu ke kaedahnya ? dahla coswork tak le bih 30/40, nak dpt A mmg sudah mustahil....so, paling tinggi aku lebih dapat aku rasa is A-, yg mana aku pun rasa mustahil utk aku dpt...bukan aku tak percaya kat diri sendiri but aku tau sejauh mana kemampuan aku dlm subjek ni...aku rasa...paling tinggi aku boleh capai is B+. tapi bg aku kalo dah dpt B pun dah ok...yela, test pun aku cukup2 mkn lulus...exam mesti susahnye....takut2, trauma dah aku...ngan suasana exam....

tapi, harapan nak dpt 3 pointer mmg tak boleh dah...sbb ada satu paper yg aku tak score...sob sob, sedih sgt....aku rs nak menangis, lps jawab paper tu....tula, soh blajar elok2 tak mau...kan dah kena repeat paper...bukan nya sekali tp byk kali pulak tu....huhu....tp camne2 pun, sem ni...i have to try my best... yelah, kompem dah extend 3 sem...byk tu....acai pun dah kerja, apau pun dah kerja...katong ngan hoda dan erry pun grad sem ni...so, nnt tinggal aku sorg je kat sini...yg tak abis2 lagi belajar...patutnya, skrg ni...aku dah mula pikirkan psl nak ketja tp study tak abis2 lagi...

aku rs sgt bersalah ngan mama ngan abah...i'm the eldest but i cannot give them good expression....spatutnya, skrg ni...aku dah kerja dan bg duit kat mama dan abah tp skrg ni...aku still berharap duit diorg....next sem, bila extend sem, secara automatiknyer akan extend scholarship....itu pun kalo dpt...kalo tak, aku tak tahula camne....

well i think...i start to think things more maturedly...start thinking the effects of any kind of actions that i'm gonna taken or had taken...start thinking the future, start thinking about myself...where i'm gonna be in next 10 years...wether have any improvement or not....i dont know...but i try to promise myself...in next 10 years...i must have a good job with good salary...i have my own car and my house and give my parents some of my salary to them and start thinking to find a partner..?

...what type of partner, i'm still not sure...coz rite now, i dont think about that yet...for me its too early..i dont want to have any attachment with anyone, if i cannot accomplished my own mission, my own targets...aku rela, adik2 aku kawen dulu...aku tak kisah langkah bendul atau apa...coz itu hanyalah mitos...anything happen is in GOD'S hands...sbb aku rasa bersalah ngan adik2 aku...disebabkan aku extend sem ni...diorg terpaksa terima indirect effects...coz i know, my parents love me very much, and they will do anythings for me...and till now..i had already taken more advantages and i think its over limit rite now...i think i have to be fair with my siblings...i know...all parents will love their children but i can feel like i have the attention more than my brothers and sister...i'm glad that they do love me, although i had failed to fulfill their needs...to see me graduate in time...but what can i say coz that thing is already happening...i cannot correct anything in the past...but i try to prove to myself that i have change...although its not a major thing but i know that i have change a lil bit...but i think its not enuff...

well, mama and abah...i cannot promise u that i can achieve 3 pointers this sem...but i try not to fail any papers...i dont want to promise anything coz i afraid i cannot fullfill my promise...so you'll be dissappointed with me and i'm gonna be ur useless and worthless child...i dont want to be like that...but i try my best to get good result, better than last sem...and this time..i promise to myself that i'm gonna spent at least 6 hours a day for study...its sound funny isnt it ? coz i shud make this promise, on the first day i'm in UTP but at that time my blindness had fooled me and i dont ahead, waht gonna happen in the future...so, rite now...i had felt the effects so i have to change myself by make a promise to myself...its ridiculous but i dont care what people think...coz this time, i must believe in myself and must prove to myself that i can do it!!!! i'll accept it as a challenge

so, my last paper is next tuesday...wish me luck, ok ? i need to study rite now....

FRIENDSHIP NEVER END, THE SAD THING IS, IT WILL END SOON

apa topik nak ckp ari ni ? hmmm...i wanna talk about frens....well, i think everyone have frens...dr yg muda hingga tu, kecik hingga besar dan miskin hingga kaya...semua ada kawan, kan kan ? tapi adakah frens tu, akan berkekalan atau just tempat persinggahan untuk kita mendapat frens yg lagi bagus, lagi selesa dan lagi menguntungkan kita ?

well, we do need frens...coz frens make us happy and make us feel comfortable but sometimes we do have frens yg fungsinya hanyalah untuk menyakitkan hati kita, meyusahkan kita dan seribu macam masalah lagi...so, first of all, try to get rid this kind of frens coz....mereka inilah yg paling byk di muka bumi ini...

without frens, our life will be so dull and make us feel like dead people.... with frens, we can share thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions and maybe boyfrens or gurlfrens ? ahahahah, just kidding....for me, i'll never share any of my "special frens" to others...why ? coz theyre special, and special things belong to me...

i had cried becoz of frens...got mad becoz of fren...feel sad becoz of frens...taste the happiness with frens and living together with frens....all these things make me feel really happy about myself..coz i have a bunch of wonderful frens to cling with...and really have great fun with them..

but, sadly...if ur being such a jerk to ur frens...its really worthless....coz without frens u'll live alone and no one will care bout u after this...its really feel like dead man coz only dead man , dont have any frens (except the ones who're always got their prayers from their beloved family and FRENS....coz the prayers will be a good companion in the graveyard)

so, the issue is being hypocrite...i really hate this people...i think many people hate this kind of fren....well, they will behave nicely, talk nicely, and will treat u nicely...but all that things will happen only in front of u...but, at ur back...they will be the evil...who dislikes u the most, who hates u the most and who who talk bad about u the most.....u know, this hypocrite thing really make me feel sad and angry....coz i'm gonna loose my beloved frens...but, why shud i love them in the first place if they dont deserve it....

it just a waste of time if u love somebody but u dont get something in return...just a plain love with nothing inside it...this frenship thing really plays a big role in my life coz i could never life without frens...u know, sometimes i had cried all nite long...thinking, why this thing shud happen...i try so hard to keep the frenship but in the end...it disappeared just like that....i dont know , what is wrong with u, is it my faults, that u changed so much ? why this thing must happen rite now ?? i keep thinking bout that and i cant find the anwers....too many questions in my head need an answer....if i did wrong just tell me.....i'll keep it secret and wont let anyone knows bout it....

i try to pretend tnat nothing happened....but i cant lie myself anymore...just now, i met u...hoping that u will gimme that sweet smile but nothing come out, just a HI and u walk away....if i did something wrong...please forgive me....i will admit my faults....and i will apologized....i know...that thing gonna happen coz ur totally change but deep in my heart i will always believe that ur my best fren i had such a great time with u, although the time is too short for us to continue the journey...u know, i dont care if u have to be hypocrite but just talk to me and say a word more than just HI....although u may hate me but please be hypocrite and talk to me and lets pretend that nothing ever happened....so, we can move on with our life without any regret....

it will hurt me so much being a hypocrite but if the hypoctite things will make other things better...i guess, it is ok for me...to play along the game....

HARAPAN YANG BERTERBANGAN

hmmm...dua paper dah berlalu...paper 1st mmg sgt memberandsangkan...tp 2nd paper ni...cam hampeh...ingat nak score 3 pointers em ni...tp cam haram la jadinya....punah sungguh harapan....kenapa aku bengap sgt ngan math ni......nak bunuh diri la...kalo tak dpt 3 pointer atau fail paper math ni...kalo score dan lulus paper math ni...aku berjanji akan study setiap mlm bersungguh sungguh, and no new perfume for the whole next sem....dan juga kena tambahkan amal ibadat...leh tertunai ke janji aku ni ? aku harap2...boleh... aku berazam!!!!

ESOK FINAL EXAM!!!

takutnya!!!! esok dah start exam...dahla first paper aku, on da first day of the exam....argh!!!! seriau rasanya....paper ni pulak paper repeat...introduction to c++ programming atau nama barunya, structured programming...susah siot, subjek ni....pening kepala nak memahamnya...dahla aku ni bukan otak programming...mujurla coswork boleh tahan la jugak...tp aku nak dpt A tp mcm takleh je nak dpt A tu...sbb coswork tak mampu nak support A, rasanya paling tinggi aku leh dpt B+ je...harap, aku score la subjek ni....kena dpt 3 pointer sem ni...kalo tak dpt 3 pointer, baik bunuh diri je...hayoooo, takut takut...kena study la skarang

hi wassup

Love can be a many splendored thing
Can't deny the joy it brings
A dozen roses
Diamond rings
Dreams for sale
And fairy tales
It’ll make you hear a symphony
And you just want the world to see
But like a drug that makes you blind
It’ll fool you every time

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Now I was a once a fool it’s true
I played the game by all the rules
But now my world’s a deeper blue
I’m sadder but I’m wiser too
I swore I’d never love again
I swore my heart would never mend
Said love wasn’t worth the pain
But then I hear it call my name

The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
It's stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Every time I turn around
I think I’ve got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin
And I keep on fallin
Over and over again
This sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pouring rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

The trouble with love is (the trouble with love)
It can tear you up inside (it can tear you up inside)
Make your heart believe a lie (Make your heart believe a lie)
It's stronger than your pride
(The trouble with love is) It's in your heart it's in your soul
(It doesn't care how fast you fall) You're losing all control
(And you can’t refuse the call)
So you’ve got no say at all
The trouble with love is (Oooo….ya)
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie (the trouble with love..)

open this ---> http://izzu20b.fotopages.com/

MALAM KARAOKE PALING BEST

untuk menghilangkan duka lara yg bersarang dlm hati ini...katong telah mengajak aku ke karaoke...apa lagi, aku kalo bab2 karaoke ni, mmg on je...so, ahli2 yg ke karaoke semalam adalah katong, aku, syai, puru dan huda...pergi berlima je sbb tak cukup kereta...kereta kancil je...kalo bawak lori, leh gak nak angkut semua....

yeah, mlm smlm mmg sgt best...sbb semua org menyanyi ngan sgt bagus...at least ada improvement than before dan juga sdap la didengar telinga sendiri...ahahah...spt biasala, aku sbg pemula acara...sah2 la aku yg kena nyanyi dulu...sbb aku kan ketua...ahahaa....ketua ke ? aku mulakan round pertama ngan lagu anuar zain - jangan bersedih lagi, sang it with full emotion...and with good control voice...wah, puji diri sendiri plak...yelah, kalo bukan aku yg puji...sapa nak puji...tapi, audience pada mlm tu agree yg aku nyanyi dan perform better...dpt standing ovation lagi....ahahahah.....

then round kedua, i picked a song from rem - erti kasih....well, this song agak susah....but i still can sing it well...sekali lagi....katong, syai, puru dan huda memberi tepukan gemuruh to me (eh, aku perasan ke ?) hehehe, anyway....lagu tu, kegemaran acai dan apau...so, diorg dah grad skrg ni....so, giliran aku plak tak over lagu tu...yes, i know i can sing that song....

round ke-3, lagu pilihan ziana zain - lara dinyanyikan...hmm, round ni sgt teruk...so many pitching problem...dan byk sgt error nye...sampai bunyi tak sedap...dan sekali sekala off key...tensen nya....1st time perform tak elok mlm ni...ari tu, ok je nyanyi lagu ni...but mlm ni sgt teruk...i feel like i dont know how to sing at all...so terrible coz its sound stupid...well, this round...i'm in bottom2...what can i say....i performed so bad so i deserved it.

round ke-4, is 80's theme...so, i picked song from kenny, remy, martin - suratan atau kebetulan....this song suit me well, although have some pitching problem but it still sounds good...once again..the crowd gimme standing ovation....actually, i pratice this song for many times...so i know, i can deliver that song very well....

the 5th round..i choose a duet song, nurul & ajai - aku cinta aku rindu....puru is my duet partner...of coz i play the guy role...coz i cant "kepit" my voice coz it will sound so terrible on the mic.....so, puru take the role as nurul and i have to be ajai...i love to sing this song coz....this song means a lot to me...well, this song bring back my sweet memory...oooo, where are u know, dear...u know, i miss u so much....puru, play the role very well, yes i know...he can sing the female part so well....owh, i just love this song and feel like wanna sing it all nite long...

the 6th round...i had duet with syai, kris dayanti & ajai - hati ini telah dilukai...once again, i play the male part, as ajai and syai have to be kris dayanti....hmm...not so bad...altho with some pitching problem....maybe, i have to practice this song more often with syai....feel like no chemistry at all...but its still sound nice....

to end the karaoke session...puru invited me to be his duet partner...we sang, 2by2 & siti nurhaliza - kau mawarku....i like this song...oldies song....although puru and i didnt perform well this song like before...but its still okay.. alot pitching problem...maybe this song not suit us....

so, the karaoke tome has ended....sgt best...and i really have fun lst nite....so, sorg kena bayar RM10, untuk almost 3 jam....kat dlm bilik karaoke tu....mmg, karaoke will make me happy..of coz..next week, we'll go there again.....of coz i'll be the diva.... :P

ONE LAST CRY

hi, all...lama tak menulis di sini....its true, emotion will give u some effect in doing something...when u in not so good mood...nothing will work out fine...yeah, when i feel happy i'll write, when i feel sad i'll write, when i feel angry i'll write, when i feel deprived and frustated i'll also write....itula cara terbaik untuk menenangkan perasaan dan menggembirakan hati sendiri...sekiranya tidak mahu berkongsi cerita dgn sesiapa...but sometimes, u have to share things with ur loved ones ar with ur closest frens coz it'll ease ur pain little bit and will cheer up ur day, coz u know, that ur not alone in this world....u have someones in this world to share ur feelings, thoughts and ur joys.....

i think, this semester is really tuff for me...well, seemed like nothing going well for me...too many obstacles...frens, lover, admirers and everything...mcm tak kena je..apa salah aku ? say it to my face, so i know, what i did wrong....i wont angry at u but angry with myself coz i cant be the best person for u...why o why...

well , if y'all dont tell , how should i know....how can i fix thing, and how can i change form bad to good...but, if u feel reluctant...what i can do ? dont wanna force u, and i dont wanna beg...coz it just not me...sekali aku bertanya, dan aku mahukan jawapannya...tapi jika sudah berkali2 bertanya2...still i cant get the answer...so i dont wanna ask anymore...coz its useless..and make me feel so cheap... yela, kalo org dah taknak, buat apa nak paksa2 lagi...so, its better for me to fade away....better keep things to myself...at least i hurt myself instead of hurting someone else....

chris, where are u ? why u just dissappeared ? what happen ? u dont reply my sms, dont call me....dont do this to me....u know, u mean a lot to me...it hurt me so much....when u did that...i dont care what disease u have, i dont care...coz ur my fren and i care so much bout u....but if u dont want me anymore...i understand but please say it...so i dont have to wonder and hoping for something that i cant get..
i know, it'll hurt me so much if u dont want me anymore but....what can i say...maybe i'm not good enuff for u...maybe aku hanyalah tenpat persinggahan...bila susah baru dicari..bila senang aku dilupakan...u have change...hey, life goes on....i have to move on...its worthless, hoping for something that never gonna happened....but its hard for me to accept that....hurt me so much...

International Charity Night

ini pun citer lama yg baru nak ditulis skrg....
tade apa pun yg best...cuma dtg tgk show budak2 foreigner kat utp ni...sambil menderma...tu je.

all the performers gathered on the stage for saying goodbye

yela, leh gak hiburkan hati yang lara.....setelah penat seharian..relax2, sambil tgk persembahan...ada yg best dan ada yg boring, tp yg penting...kena la menten febeles...kenala melaram...aku ngan fifi pakai baju bertemakan hitam....tade apa nak citer...ni pun si jenin ngan roda yg ajak bergambar...gambar ni di ambil di depan chanselor hall, tempat di mana event di adakan.....

nak tgk gambar....scroll la ke bawah....cuma seronok plak upload gambar2 ni...hehehehe....

from left: fifi, pei lee, jenin, roda and me...posing outside the hall

roda and me

jenin and me

4 of us in the last pic

BBQ DI LUBUK TIMAH

hi yuol!!!! i nak citer kat yuol...aktiviti yg berlaku kira 2 atau 3 minggu lepas...
hahaha, lupa nak tulis kat sini... tapi, alang2 dah tade apa nak buat ni...baik i tulis je kat sini...

headline di atas berlaku pada 27 februari lalu....aku diundang jmenyertai perkelahan bbq di lubuk timah. korag tau tak kat mana lubuk timah ? aku pun tak tau....tapi aku pernah dgr citer la yg lubuk timah ni best...ada air terjun dan kolam air panas. best tu, ada aura sejuk dan aura panas serentak di satu kawasan....lubuk timah terletak lebih kurang 15km dr ipoh...aku agak2 jela...tapi lubuk timah ni tak komersial lagi la...yela, tmpt ni pun kat kawasan kelapa sawit....kiranya mcm agak terpencil gak....tapi best yuol...nnt kita kejna pegi ramai2 ke sana....

inilah air terjun lubuk timah

actually, aku bukanla mastermind utk plan bbq ni. aku diberitahu yang plan ni, dayana jaid mastermind nye....kiranya, aku dijemput oleh pae untuk join sama event ni. aku rasa bertuah kerana dijemput sama, dahla mcm sangap dok kat bilik masa weekend. lagipun dah lama tak ke pusat perkelahan. kiranya, lubuk timah ni, adalah destinasi pertama semester ni.....

tgh cari port yg sesuai

apa2 pun, breakfast dulu...kalo lapar, susah nanti

ahli2 yg turut serta ialah, dayana, ika, sameera, baby, checkmate, lan, pae dan semestinya the febeles one...aku la....memula aku taknak ikut...ntahla aku rasa segan je bila pae senaraikan org2 yg dlm list...tapi, bila aku pikir2 balik...rugi plak kalo tak ikut....yela, bukannya aku leh hang out ngan pae selalu...lagipun sem ni, dah last sem dia...kalo pas2ni tak jumpa dah...mesti aku sedih...setelah ditimbang tara, aku pun bersetuju untuk pergi....yeay~~ tapi kenapa mesti pae ? ahahah, sbb he's my best fren although he's too unpredictable but itula yg menyebabkan yg lagi suka aku nak berkawan ngan dia...mcm adventurous....tapi skrg ni, kenapa pae diam membisu je...huhuhu...itu citer kemudian

mereka yg join picnic ni, checkmate tade dlm pic sbb dia jd cameraman

dayana tgh sibuk bungkus kentang

mmg best ye, yuol, lubuk timah...rasa cam taknak balik je...dahla aku tak bayar apa2 pun....kiranya, pae sponsored aku...malunya aku...asyik pae je belanja aku...nnt aku nak belanja dia secret recipe la....biar nampak romantik sikit...ahahahah...tapi sbb aku ni mmg tak malu, aku terima jela pae treat aku...heheheh....dah la, masa kat sana pun...aku tak tolong pun nak set up bbq set, masak2 ke apa ke...aku tau makan je...adalah sikit2 aku tolong...tolong abiskan makanan...hahaha....tapi, aku tgk diorg ok je....aku pun dr awal2 lagi...dah berendam dalam air...air cetek je but sejuk gila...tapi ada waterfall yg sgt best, rasa macam massage plak...dah lama gila dalam air sampai kecut kulit...

ika ngan baby tgh posse cantik

tp yg part paling best...aku tercikcur...huhuhu...kantoi la plak kat diorg ni..tapi cikcur meriah yuol...yelah...ada budak2 politeknik, budak2 pusat giat mara...mandi sekali...apa lagi...berkenalanla...memula tu malu gak nak approach tp bila si sameera, baby ngan dayana asyik soh approach je...aku pun approach jela, diorg pun gedik sekali...yelah, dah pluang depan mata...ambik je....masalahnya, cando yuol...
fresh lagi anak2 ikan ni....tapi lain yg tackle lain yg plak yg dapat.....tapi okla, itu baru 1st step...lps usha2 dan dah berkenalan...barula akhirnya, dpt tackle org yg paling melethop dlm geng2 tu....rugi tak mintak no hp...kalo tak, hmmm....mesti boleh buat 3rd, 4th step lagi...hehehehe.

apalah diorg tgk tu ?

lan jd chef yg gigih ari tu

sejuk woo, waterfall ni

posing ngan mangsa tebusan...hehehe

apa ko buat tu checkmate ? berdoa ke ?

kesian pae~~

mmg bestla, dr pg sampai ke ptg kitorg kat lubuk timah....kat2 kol 6 ptg baru balik....apa lagi, burn la kewajipan tu...aku ingat aku je...rupanya semua sekali...kecuali checkmate...ahahahah....yuol tau tak apa tu kewajipan ? ahahah, malu la nak ckp...okla, i bg klu...kalo dgr azan, pastu kita kena buat apa ? kalo tak buat nnt berdosa...oops, klu sgt obvious....

sebelum balik, makan aiskrim dulu~~~ from left: aku, sam, dayana & pae

yuol nak tgk tak gambar2 nye ? sorryla...masa ni, i tak posse melethop...nampak sgt laha...malu betul...nampaknya...pasni, kena bawak cermin la sbelum amik gambar

aksi hot, boleh masuk majalah mangga tak ?

ITS SO SAD...

Hidup ini tidak selalunya indah....tidak seindah seperti apa yang kita harapkan dan kita mimpikan...selalu sahaja ada penyebab sebagai penghalang untuk mencapai apa yang kita idamkan..

Kadang-kadang aku rasa macam aku ni digunakan untuk kepnetingan orang lain, dicari bila diperlukan dan diketepikan bila sudah tiada kepentingan....Tak tahula, mungkin aku yang berperasaan terlalu sensitif...tapi aku cuba untuk berfikiran positif namun unsur2 negatif tetap memberikanku perasaan kurang senang....perasaan sering tidak berpuas hati dan menyesal serta terkilan....

I hate myself to be soo caring and supportive; i want to be the villain, someone that people hate so much...but i know, i cant be that kind of person....its just not me but i hate when people take advantages of my kindness. Its just unfair.....

Sungguh sedih dan sunggu memilukan hati aku...tapi hati menangis siapa yang tahu...baik aku pendamkan je...so, tiada siapa yang tahu...dan akan tiada mana2 pihak yang akan terluka...biarla, hanya aku yang menyimpan lukaku sendiri....

WHAT A JOYFUL DAY

hi...bestnye ari ni.....mmg aku havin fun so much....ptg tadi main volleyball..ngan junior2 ni....mmg diorg lawak abis la...sgt best...aku asyik gelak ketawa je sbb aksi2 diorg sgt kelakar....aku bukannya penat main but penat ketawa..."adik2" lagi la kelakar...sgt pecah lobang....bila dah azan maghrib..baru abis main....

pastu, mlm plak gi karaoke...apa lagi...melalak sepuas hati la...semester ni sgt gila....setiap minggu mesti nak karaoke je...hayooo, kopak duit aku camni....menyanyi2 sampai tade suara...elok2 suara lemak merdu macam siti nurhaliza trus jadi garau2 macam jamal abdillah...tp yg penting, aku menten melethop....

anyway, hari ni aku mmg enjoy abis la...spent time ngan adik2, main volleyball, pastu malamnya plak, spent time ngan adik2 karaoke, nyanyi2....ilang semua rasa tensi dan serabut.....aku mmg sayang "adik2" aku ni...kalo tadek diorg mesti aku rasa sgt bosan dok kat utp ni....yelah, hanya mereka yg memahami siapa aku...without any judgement.

LAWATAN MUHIBBAH KE BLOK METANA

Hi yuol~~~
aku tetap di sini~~

Lama tak menulis ruangan ni....sampai ada org tu...dah tertanya2..."Kenapa tak update blog, aku ternanti2 citer hot ko...". Well, now here i am...writing some junks in my blog... :P

adik2 yg hadir pd mlm ni, baru dan lama

bersama adik2 lama (yuol dah tua, ok!!)

Sesi pengrekrutan adik2 baru sudah pun bermula....terima kasih kepada MISS PURU GO TO HELL kerana berjaya menjalankan misi ngan jayanya..4 org adik2 baru telah berjaya di detect dan telah pun diserapkan dalam perkumpulan NOTS & NAYAH UTP. Mereka ialah Mira Moss, Morriee Moss, Seri dan Cumi. Semua adalah adik2 yg baru mendaftar di UTP, intake JAN05.....adik2 baru...comel2 semuanya....bolehla pasni, ramai2 gi cikcur..barula meriah....

from left: seri, mori, cumi, & mira

suka sgt cikdih bergambar ngan mira

kiranya, pada mlm tu...buat kunjungan muhibbah ke blok adik2, sblm adik2 berangkat pulang ke kampung halaman utk mengambil result spm...mmg bestla lepak ngan diorg.... diorg pun fun and funny....aku mmg suka adik2 yg ceria dan tak mandom...kalo tak bosan la...asyik aku je kena bukak mulut...(hobi aku : bercakap)hmm, i wish...all of u will get the flying colors...nnt kalo korg score...aku belanja korg kek....

sessi supper pulak, puru tgh syok melantak sambil aku borak ngan mira. tajaan lokasi: restoren makcik dashing

lela dan anfal, igt cantik la tu ?

cumi, seri dan deja...kelaparan tunggu makanan

syai, lela ngan erry memberikan gaya anggun

WHO AM I

What Does Your Name Mean?

MOHAMMADIZZUDDIN
M is for Misunderstood
O is for Openhearted
H is for Honest
A is for Animated
M is for Modern
M is for Musical
A is for Active
D is for Delightful
I is for Insane
Z is for Zappy
Z is for Zappy
U is for Unnatural
D is for Ditzy
D is for Daredevil
I is for Impassioned
N is for Nervy

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover
You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Are A Romantic.
You are more romantic than 90% of the population. You life your life like a fairy tale... or at least you try to. Living for magical moments, you believe there's only one true love for you. Love is the most important thing in your life, and you don't take it for granted. Your perfect match loves to be in love as much as you do!

How's Your Attitude?

Your Attitude is Better than 60% of the Population.
60-79: You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

You Have A Type A- Personality.
You are one of the most balanced people around. Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want. You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.
When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back. Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male
Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head. Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

Are You An Extrovert or An Introvert?

You Are 80% Extrovert, 20% Introvert
You are as outgoing as they come. The life of the party, you're friends with everyone. You're a people person, and you are quite the entertainer. You love being around a crowd and acting spontaneously

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence
You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary.
You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

How's Your Karma?

You Have Good Karma
In general, you like to do the right thing when it comes to others. Your caring personality really shines through. Sure, you have your moments of weakness - and occasionally act out. But, all in all, you're karma is good... even with those few dark sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

You Are 40% Left Brained, 60% Right Brained
The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others.
If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

What Is Your Love Number?

Your Love Number is 9
You are a peaceful person, and you tend to have calm, stable relationships. Connecting deeply is another skill of yours, and you tend to know lovers well.
Trusting and laid back, you are an easy person to love. Love can be a little blinding for you, so open your eyes a little more!

What Age Do You Act?

You Are 25 Years Old
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

You Are a Drama Princess (or Prince)
(You are more dramatic than 30% of the population.)You're not over the top dramatic, but you have your moments. You know how to steal the spotlight...And how to act out to get your way. People around you know that you're good for a laugh. But at times, your drama gets a bit too much for everyone. Tone it down a tad, and you'll still be the center of attention.

How Cancer Are You?

You are 73% Cancer. Out of 62153 people the average score was 64%

How scary are you?

You Are Not Scary
Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?

What Age Will You Die?

You Will Die at Age 67.
You're pretty average when it comes to how you live...And how you'll die as well.